This past Sunday I experienced my water baptism. It was such an epic experience and all God’s doing! I’m so happy and proud of this path God has me on and the fact that the baptism happened. The power of God is incredible. In the morning before my baptism, I asked my father if he would attend the ceremony with me and he said no. I also asked him a few weeks prior and he said no. I mentally prepared myself for the second no, but a small part of me wanted him to say yes. The way he said no hurt my feelings; so to get myself back on the path of excitement I went into my room and started playing Chris Tomlin “White Flag” and I kept it on reply. This is a joyous occasion! I should have been nothing but smiles and happiness because Jesus gave up his life with the thought I was worth living. He loved me THAT much not knowing if I’d love him back. That is the greatest form of true love! Shame on me for being sad my Earth Father doesn’t want to come witness my declaration to my Creator. How dare I be upset about this? It’s no comparison right? Still, I posted that song on my tumblr account with how I was feeling in those moments. Mixing writing and music is an indescribable joyous discovery. I give God all the glory!
I set up this tumblr account a while ago to support a friends account so that I can comment. Recently, I discovered how cool it was! Probably, because I finally understand it, LOL. I’ve been ironically posting everyday on that account, which is (http://pathcalledlife.tumblr.com/ in case you’re interested in checking out my account! It’s also found under the “About Me” tab.) It’s amazing what God puts in your heart! I’ve always liked music and my interest level fluctuated like an energy bill at times; but I never really had that itch to discover or look for artists. I’m sure I’ve done it in the past but God wasn’t in my center in the past. However, God has put this desire in my heart. I researched and discovered so many amazing Christian artist these past few weeks like Royal Tailor, Kari Jobe, for Kings & Country, Unspoken; I mean the list goes on. It was so much greatness I created a trial Spotify account just so I can enjoy my repeat usage. I literally cannot get enough. I believe I have a fraction of an understanding how music lovers feel. I’m talking about those really cool music lovers that know about artist you’ve never heard of! Like Jojo (which isn’t her real name, I’ve said this before but for new readers, HI! I change names for protection of identities), plus she’s been trying to get me to create a Spotify account for ages and I was like um no thank you. Looking back on that now, maybe God was using her to tell me to get it… well I’m enthralled in the middle of Christian positivity and I LOVE IT!
Back to Sunday and when my dad said no. I discovered that morning that I not only wanted my father to come for him to experience BT but I also wanted him to come for me. As I was aware of these emotions I wrote them down in my Tumblr, expressing my hurt under the Chris Tomlin song. Writing is very therapeutic for me, especially when I write about my experiences, emotions but mainly my LOVE FOR JESUS! This love grows by the second simultaneously with my radical desire to share His glory. In the tumblr post I was saying how I’ve completely let go and let God. I told myself that my dad won’t change his mind and I’ll still have God so I won’t be alone. I told Jojo about this and she said God works up until the midnight hour. I was like yeah okay, that’s true but this is my dad. As I was writing God was working on my dad. I underestimated my Creator’s abilities because of the fact I know the movements of my Earthly Father’s. I was blown away that God was able to get my father to come to this ceremony with me, enjoy it and say he was glad he came. God is just so amazing! The way he works continues to blow my mind. All I can do is praise and be so grateful. My father is the type of man that is very firm in a specific way of thinking and perception so to see him change his mind this way was a miracle to my eyeballs. I believe God needed me to see and understand that nothing is too big for him and he sees me. I’ll never forget what that made me feel like: completely loved.
There were so many amazing moments from Sunday I don’t know what to write about. I’ll start with the fact that 110 individuals including myself decided to publicly declare they surrendered to Jesus Christ and they’re solely doing his will!! When I heard that number my heart burst for joy. Both men and women… and kids!! One child was I believe 11 and the other was 9. That’s so admiral to be on the wavelength of Jesus at such a tender age. I’m inspired. It’s beautiful. I can literally drop a mic I don’t have and walk off a stage I’m not really on. What was really special about that number was the fact that out of all those individuals Pastor C choose my friend Jojo’s story to publicly display to the entire congregation and the webcast to witness her baptism. That moment was so much bigger than her. I kept telling her that and she finally got it. 🙂 At first she kept saying why me. I said God chose you. You were what he needed to inspire. And it’s true she was. She inspired everyone in the room I was sitting in. My dad who’s not easily impressed even told her that was really nice. He was inspired too. That made my heart skip a beat. My heart was on overload like I kept touching my chest to see if my heart was going to come out of my chest.
I realized my heart was still in tact and all was well. So to put more icing on the Holy Spirit Cake, we got the best surprise ever: finding out that Pastor Todd was going to bless us all before we were baptized in the water. He’s the Pastor for Transitions, the services that literally saved my life and changed me to the radical God fearing woman I am today that’s obsessed with pleasing My Savior. I can’t wait to see how God will use me for his amazing work!! In the mean time, we can go back to the awesomeness of seeing Pastor Todd. Of course Jojo and I spoke to him and HOGGED the man’s attention. He told us that Transitions is in the process of happening every Friday. We were so excited and acted like you couldn’t take us anywhere. I think it was okay because it’s Jesus love. At least that’s how I’m justifying it in my brain. Transitions is having a retreat in August that I’m going to and I can’t wait. I never went to the forest before. I’m a born and raised city girl. To go to the forest and be one with trees and not hear sirens is a great opportunity to have special solo God time. I’m super stoked. I’ll actually hug a tree when I get up there so I can say I’m a tree hugger. I don’t want a bear to eat me, Jesus please don’t let there be any. Amen. Overall, talking to Pastor Todd just reinforced my desire to join this ministry. God put these desires in my heart, that I’m convinced of. I can’t wait to see what this cornerstone unfolds.
The actual experience of being baptized was life altering. At first when I saw the water I’m not going to lie, I slightly freaked out because the water was so much deeper than I realized it would be. I think the two Pastors that are in the water with us saw my concern because they were rubbing my back, LOL. And they kept saying are you okay, I kept saying I’m fine, I was just in shock. Before I went into the water I was determined to have worldly Crysta stay dead in the water. I also wanted the burdens of my family to stay in the water and I said that before I saw the tub. My plan was to chant that while I was in the water but that went out the window of my thoughts when I saw the deepness of the water. For someone who can’t swim, that was a pretty real moment. I also said in my brain well if I die now, at least I’m dying giving my life to Jesus. That’s an awesome way to go. I was at peace with that. The Pastors didn’t even warn me that they were going to dip me so when I realized I was going to be dipped into the water I kept my eyes opened and my mouth slightly opened. For some reason I wanted all of me to feel the experience and symbolism. When I raised up, I did feel anew but I discovered how unwise it was to keep my mouth opened because I couldn’t stop coughing. At least my teeth got the Holy experience too. Yes, I’m trying to find the positive in my not so bright moment.
As I’m living Day 2 of a proudly born again Christian woman. I’m just excited that I feel this deep desire to be better and to keep improving. Yesterday I believe I was tested and I think I did pretty well with the test. I had a conversation with my mom about love and dating. I tried to explain to her it’s amazing how God works. Three weeks ago I went out with a guy that has popped in and out of my life for the last 9 or so years. Let’s call him Clarence. My mom likes Clarence but she would also like to see me married off and have babies like 12 hours from now. So I basically told her that we’re not on the same wavelength. I’m running to Christ and he’s not. I’m not saying he doesn’t believe in God or love God. He does. He’s content with his affections towards God; he’s just not radical about living a Godly fearing Christian life. So my mom basically said that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the potential to get there eventually. I tried to explain to my mom that God doesn’t want me to be with a potential otherwise he wouldn’t be harvesting me now. God wants the best for us, that’s why he’s directing my steps down the path that makes Crysta the best she can be. Of course my mom and I got into an argument because she doesn’t understand why I can’t still go out with him if he invites me out. So I’ll tell a story about Clarence. I invited him to Transitions, and he didn’t come, he said he couldn’t make it. Fine, okay, but he wanted me to go to a party with him the next day. I agreed to go if Jojo came. Oddly enough I never received his calls that day and he said that he called. After years of not taking heed to God’s signs, I’m paying attention to them now. So how does it make sense fellow eyeballs that are reading these words that I continue to go out with this man if he invites me out? I’d love to hear thoughts on this! Thanks for reading! God bless you! This path called life.