Dove

Petrified and mystified 

Your love is her eternal dove.

she can breathe with Your ease.

The purity of Your security

is the amenity to her identity.

she inhales Your truth.

You exhale her walking proof.

to push through the fearful aloof.

dread is her paralyze. 

You are her Analyze. 

You loved her when she didn’t see.

All she wanted was to chase 

what’s not meant to be.

But You stilled her heart.

Now You and her are never apart. 

You were her link in her sink.

You are the rhyme in her chime.

she’s running straight to Your drumming. 

she will keep humming.

she finds rest in her Cornerstone Best.

her hinderance is now Your deliverance. 

she wants to quit. 

You love her through her submit.

You show her why she cannot sit. 

You are her patient agent. 

You’re showering her why 

she cannot stop Your powering. 

she will cry You will testify.

Petrified and mystified 

Your love is her eternal dove. 

she can breathe with Your ease. 

You feed her to be. 

she’s now set free.

You are gliding her out of hiding. 

her rapid beats are Your radiated heats.

her needless tears are Your loving cheers. 

her sliding in fear is Your infinite years 

to the truthful walk in her talk 

of glory to glory. 

she is Your story. 

she is Your exclusion 

of a resurrected inclusion. 

she wants to quit. 

You love her through her submit. 

You show why she cannot sit.

You show her the purpose of her storm. 

You show her why she cannot conform.

You need her to embrace the transform.

her clouded dome is Your Heavenly Home. 

Petrified and mystified 

Your love is her eternal dove. 

she can breathe with Your ease.

she isolates You suffocate:

The lies that ties. 

The fused I’s and the why’s.

You are mused by her refuse.

You clear the aloof with Your truth.

her clouded dome is Your Heavenly Home.

You illuminate to rejuvenate 

the madness in her sadness. 

she rejects mans manipulations 

and her anxiousness awaits Your stipulations. 

In the midst of her is already May.

she fights to cling to Your Way.

You are her link that prevents her sink.

she’s never far from reaching Your stars. 

You are her continual protection of her rejection.

Until You’re ready to set her free.

You will hold her key

then she will see and be. 

No more hiding. 

No more sliding. 

her hovering is Your covering. 

she’s now discovering 

her love is Your eternal Dove.

she can now fly through Your sky. 

her caterpillar catapulted into Your butterfly. 

Poet’s Note: My commitment based faith trumps my interwoven emotions. He guides me as His chosen to express and confess my stress. This is an entirely new realm for me. I don’t recognize the godly daughter my King is transforming me to be. This is a newness I’m discovering with Him. When I come to this panicked place, my self-made resolutions were such broken habits: from drunken slumber to defiling my temple with meaningless sex with a man that’s not my ribcage. I was once blind to my true identity, but now I see. Now that I’ve been made anew, the broken solutions I once clung to aren’t even an option. 

I ran track in high school 400 meter hurdles; and the running concept has spilled in all areas of my life. God is walking me through the wrecking of no more running. I just want to pick up leave and start over. My King has planted me in areas that makes me so uncomfortable. He’s making me walk through these anxious emotions His way, which is a whole new everlasting world of wonder.

I wish I can sew together my cloak of invisibility that hides me forever, but my King doesn’t want that. I want my King no matter what. I submit to His will as petrifying and raw as that leads me. 

No more running or hiding. I still say yes and choose Him, and even through walking in this unknown, He’s the greatest love of my life. He’s the greatest love ever shown. He’s the only one that turned my darkness to His Light. I’m in the best hands possible. So my eyes will be forever fixed on Him. His voice > _____. 

Sink or swim I’m all in. He’s already saved me so many times in the past and even now. His love is endless not just for me, but for all His fellow chosen. My King is showing me there’s no fear in love: His way, not mine. I’m forever His. Blessings my fellow chosen. 

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Ribcage 

she just wants to numb 

But he’s the beat to her drum

The heat that keeps her seat

she hides in pride satisfied 

He loves her mystified 

she stutters at her flutters 

her key is safe 

Hidden in its rightful place 

Until the time to link their chime

He says he’s coming

she’s just humming 

Harmonizing her rhyme to the rage 

But only he reveals her true gauge

she’s waiting for his stage 

The calling of her rib to her ribcage 

Only three strands connects His land 

he’s towering not cowering 

To His link that prevents his sink 

He molds the sand

He’s holding his hand

she just wants to numb 

But he’s the heat to her drum

she inhales he exhales 

she’s troubled he’s bubbled 

Tick tock tick tock 

The clock stopped 

Time popped 

It doesn’t click

There’s no stick

It doesn’t sting

There’s no string

Only three strands connect His land 

he’s passive in His massive 

He says he’s coming

she’s just humming 

she yearns to feed numbing 

But he’s the heat to her drumming 

There’s no more running 

No more sliding 

He’s pulling her out of hiding 

Only he can reveal her true gauge 

she’s waiting for his stage 

A calling of a rib to her ribcage

her key is ready to be free 

she waits for him to be 

The ribcage that’s one flesh to his rib 

Then he will see

Poet’s note: Such a discomforting journey, and I definitely avoided this piece. The longer I avoided, the more my peace was becoming shuffled. I’m the type of daughter to my King, that’s a brat. I am truly smitten by the love of my life. Yet this naked vulnerability is a tussle I go back and forth with my Constant One on. He taught me how to love myself, through showing me how He loves me. I can’t go back, and I won’t go back to who I used to be. I’m upward falling, and walking through a fire with Him ahead. My key is safe with Him, until He is ready to give it to the man He says gets it. I just keep dancing and growing with my King in the meantime; because the highs and lows, and through the sink or swim, I’m all in. He’s always going to be worth it to me. He is my prince of peace. He is my Lord of Lords. He made the light go on in my darkness. He takes my breath away. So I just say yes no matter what. I encourage you to just say yes no matter what as well. Blessings my fellow chosen.

Majestic

2 Samuel 7:18-29

The faithfulness of God!! Oh my goodness! It dwells so strongly in us as Your chosen. Wow this is so powerful. I’m overwhelmed. Dad, you are so powerful. You are so majestic and just take my breath away. You make me swoon Dad. You make my heart skip beats like you created that rhythmic song just for me. I can’t get enough of your romance. Be still my heart. 

Even with the swooning romance, we easily get caught up in routined moments of everyday life, quickly making us forget Your majestic being, when life feels mundane and ordinary. As if tangibility is our only scope. That’s the furthest from the truth. Oh man, there needs to be a sense of higher urgency, to claw our way to Your majestic presence. 

For where You dwell, not only is Your power there, but Your truth is as well. Dad you so powerfully loves us, and it’s beyond our wildest dreams. Staying abided in His vein is so crucial saints. The world and the worlds helpers, are so easily disguised, that it’s more terrifying than most lead on. That needs to end. The downplaying of warfare needs to end. 

David downplayed nothing. David is a guy after God’s heart: absurdly obedient and truly focused on His voice, regardless of what David saw, or felt. There is not enough of this practice!! David remained steadfast in God, so God remained steadfast in him. David never tried to glamorize the struggles, nor did he hide in his inequities. He boldly cried out to His Heavenly Father about his pain and struggles. God always covered him, and that’s when miracles happened. 

Are we not obedient enough Dad? What do we need to do to get out of your way?? What do we need to let go of to be this faithful? Jesus, it’s so beautiful! Your majesty makes my heart feel as if it will burst of such love. Can a human feel this much? It’s a blessing and a shock I wake up every morning because I just grow more in love with you Dad. Then my heart gets more sensitive for Your people, then I see more, then I hurt more. And then I just feed my anger instead of staying on my knees like David did. But how you blessed me Dad last night at prayer band. So majestic and I’m still reeling from that blessing. 

Everything I cry about to you in the shower, almost everyday, you used your daughter last night to pray about it out loud. Because I was so convinced I only saw the flatlined complacency our people fell prey to. There’s such a dire triage of revival we so desperately need. It breaks my heart. And makes me so mad. I try so hard to stop caring but then you bless me with moments like last night. So my faith was revived. I can’t stop praying and you keep showing me that, biblically and through prayer. So keep breaking me Dad. Keep molding me, exactly where you need me. 

You showed David so many promises. And it was years before he saw them all, if he even did see them all. There’s so many great men, all throughout our blueprint bible. There’s such a terrifying misconception about Old Testament…. Yes it’s not our New Testament, because we are the living breathing New Testament. But the Old Testament has more absurdly obedient vessels, besides Paul. That’s a truth we must pay attention to, like David, Elisha, Samuel, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and so many others. 

Before I got serious about keeping my knees to the ground, and my eyes fixed on you Dad, I was one of those chosen that dismissed the Old Testament as well. “Because it’s not new times,” or “because it happened over 2,000 years, that’s different, things like that no longer happen.” How did so many of us fall into such a terrifying ignorance? 

You didn’t change, so Your power or what You’re capable of didn’t change either. This level of obedience can dwell in any one of us in modern times. We just have to be bold enough to fight to remain steadfast. Is it easy? Heck no, David stuck out like a sore thumb. Who the heck wants to do that?? Especially without “proof,” but proof isn’t faith. Proof is tangibility. So many of us, without even realizing it, feel (not fall, we feel) into the trap of making faith tangible. That’s where pretty Christianity comes in, and glamorizing warfare. 

But David didn’t care about pretty Christianity, nor did he care about glamorizing this faith based commitment, just because of unpredictable feelings. You told him to jump Dad, he said how high. And jumped. How many of Your chosen today are on that faith base commitment? From what I see, not enough. What I see is feeling based commitment. It’s terrifying because your nonbelievers hurt the most. 

That’s what burdens my heart, and gets me so angry Dad. But You seem to want to use my anger for Your glory, like you used David’s faithfulness in prayer for Yours. That’s how You get magnified and that’s how You’re able to make miracles happen like this house. 

Like the destruction of Goliath. 

Like the resurrection of Jesus, through the same Holy Spirit that dwells in us. 

This truth is a truth that’s so downplayed, which also annoys me. And makes me see red. Again Dad, you’re using that too. So use away Papa. I’m no longer afraid to be where you boldly need me to dwell. This life is about Your people, not my hurt or anger. It’s so much bigger. Your troubled souls need to know the truth and truly walk in Your vein. 

We need a rising of David like faith. That’s why Jesus our personal Savior, Your son that you willingly sacrificed is a descendent of all these great obedient men, like David… The same David the world dismissed. Good, dismiss me world, then I’m doing what needs to be done. Your chosen don’t seem to grasp if the world welcomes you, then you’re doing something terribly wrong. That’s a deeper meaning too Dad. Everything is a deeper meaning with You. 

Faith based belief, and all these examples are for us, to carry close to our heart. So that we can remember Your truth always, especially in troubled moments. And boldly walk in your purpose for us. Miracles and blessings are for You, not us. There are for Your lost, confused and broken. David understood his true triage, and trajectory to execute God’s will. It’s time we walk in the same truth and focus on what truly needs to be done. 

No more pretenses or glamorizing the calamity of what it means not to be obedient. We don’t suffer as much as Your people do. Blessings and miracles can’t happen if we are not walking how You need us to walk. Keep shaking us Dad. Keep ruffling our feathers. Keep breaking our hearts until it’s enough to be all in. No more pretty Christianity and no more glamorizing. I love you Constant One.

Prayer: May you break our hearts Dad, make it so suffocatingly impossible to feed our flesh ever again. Make Your boldness be our new skin. Make the old wine skin burst as we continue to attempt to fit new wine in old skin. Keep making that impossible. You are possible Dad, and only Your ways. Destroy it God. Break the flesh God, may we be so repulsed by our ways that the reeking makes us tap out, and say we surrender. May we finally be spit out our whale. Make your tsunami sized revival, be so massive that we rapidly become linked together. And your nonbelievers become one with us. Like Philippia, like Corinthians, like your precious beautiful Israelites that you saved from Egypt. May you rise Sauls to be transformed into Pauls. And may you continue to test us, mold us, so that your truth is told through us. Thank you Constant One, thank you for breath, thank you for Your majestic love. Thank you for Your grace. Thank you for the gift of new mercies everyday. Thank you for being the most romantic love of our life. We praise you King. Always and forever smitten by You, love Your chosen.