So, I was behind in my bible challenge with my sisters, and it bothered me so much. But awesome God!!!! He woke me up at 2:30ish and I read chapter 3 of Thessalonians. Man did it resonate so much with me. I am so concerned about this pain not having a purpose but man! Does it!!!! After praying and reading the word, God told me to hold on. Little did I know it was a reminder of what came later. So I was like duh God I am, you know me being the sassy sass that I can be. Anyway. So I completed one of my leadership devos, it had me meditate on 1 Samuel 15. That chapter spoke so much to me, don’t even remember it all. But I bible journaled on it and posted it on my Instagram page. Not cowering to fear has been one of my biggest wrestles with God.
Anyway, that’s not the greatest revelation. I fell asleep reading 1 Samuel 15. And Satan entered my dream, but I’ll tell you why it was a blessing. I wasn’t scared. God was with me. So the dream was really weird, lol. Like man I don’t even know if I can do justice to it by attempting to describe it, but I will try. So it was a bunch of men, some clear and some foggy. But that wasn’t even the weirdest part. It was a big space. Like massive, with a lot of “cubicle” looking spaces, but they were divided by at least three inches in width, grey plastic. And it felt like an ugly colorless Lego world for adults. It was so bizarre because I’m all about color. That was the first sign to me. Anyway, Jojo* was there and talking a lot, but I just felt the word rambling being pressed on my heart repetitively. And I was immediately looking to get out. Sign number 2. Because God is not a God of confusion. That’s in 1 Corinthians 14. I didn’t feel confused but where Jojo* and I were, was set up in confusion so that’s what told me this wasn’t of God. And that’s what made me see Satan entered my realm of dreams where God should only dwell. And I wasn’t scared but I didn’t realize I wasn’t fearful until after I woke up.
Back to the dream. So then I saw really small red exit signs, like they were so small, I barely noticed them. And I’m blind as a bat. The red exit sign was the only color. The library had color too but I’ll explain that in a few. The red exit sign was a size that a human can’t fit through, so I was like that’s not going to work. Then to my left I saw a library and I got excited!! Because I said oh yay the bible could be there. So I went through a metal turnstile and as soon as I entered I immediately left. It was pressed on my heart that it was a trap. Then I realized that I’m taking longer than usual to wake up.
Usually when Satan attempts I call on Jesus and I wake up. But I got distracted when I left the library, and saw Jojo* collapse on the floor. Like just laying there alive but lifeless. (Like someone that’s spiritually dead) not saying Jojo* was spiritually dead but that’s the best imagery I can muster up to paint the closest picture.
Anyway, then I collapsed too, and I was like what the heck is this? But that’s not what took my attention the most… The lustful spirit that consumed me suddenly, took my attention. And I was like oh flip, this hasn’t happened since I was of the world. So I called on Jesus, and the dream switched to my bed, but I knew I wasn’t fully up still. I kept repeating Jesus is Lord. Over and over and over and over. And the stronghold that Satan was trying with became weaker. Then I heard myself singing Holy Spirit, which I will have on repeat today, all day. Amen.
But the greatest revelation through this dream was the fact that God sees every corner of my heart, with all the hidden secrets, that I tried to even hide from myself. God is showing me that I’m no longer afraid, even though my habits and patterns still speak of that truth. My core, that He’s been strengthening, is rock solid. And I’m ready. For whatever that will lead, I don’t agree with God but it’s His will not mine.
As I’ve formulated these words, I realize that God wants me to share this in my blog. I really don’t want to do that, because I don’t talk about my dreams. Not with many people anyway, but that’s leaning on my understanding not God’s. When I picked up the cross two years ago, I laid down my life at the same time. Therefore it’s His voice over mine. What I will say saints, stay encouraged as hard as that seems. And as crippling as that feels, it does get better. Be bold, and be brave, because you have the Creator of everything guiding you. You’ll only trust this truth completely when you submit to Him. Give Him everything and watch Him blow your mind. Everything has a purpose, including dreams. Blessings my fellow chosen.
*name changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy