This is so hard.
Seeing what you’ve lead me to see, and what I picked up supernaturally bothers me so much. You showed me a specific man, and placed that man in my heart over three years ago. Far before the mess that gives me much distress, which this man walks in quicksand in his space of disgrace right now. I haven’t spoken to this man in almost two years. This is the hardest journey, that I’ve ever walked and talked.
BUT I’m so blessed Daddy, because you went before me in all my painful emotional agony. I’m set free faithfully. In all my silent cries, and public lies I expressed hiding my deep distress; and you’ve captured every single tear God. Every single year you’ve blessed me with growth, and freedom; from the wrong seed weeds that made me bleed with broken choking need. Every pain had a gain, and nothing was in vain. I’ve been healed from my traumatic experience of sexual assault at nineteen. I’ve been set free from the self condemnation of succumbing to lust, and not being untouched for my future husband.
You taught me God to flee from the enemy by disciplining me to walk biblically. Everything is in my blueprint known as the Holy Bible. Ever since 4.4.14, you’ve shown me what it means to walk the talk of godly. I’ve applied all your biblical truths to the woman I am today. And I’m no longer stuck in the rut of the decay’s in yesterday’s, or the sorrow of no tomorrows. You taught me to trust your voice God over the choice of hu(man’s) confirmation quicksand catastrophes.
Daddy you keep supernaturally showing me truths, that are not the current realities to that building that no longer has your godly wings. Thank God you pulled me and Jojo* out, as well as her ribcage. What you keep showing me about my future is so complicated. All I can do is pray for the delay to no longer be stronger in decay’s of yesterday’s by the hallow swallow of no tomorrow’s for your chosen; and for the switch in the gift to Obey in Today to occur. There’s so much wrong in the space you’ve publicly freed me from my empty of disgrace on 4.4.14. I’ll never regret the experience that lead to my salvation, but there’s so much wrong in that location. So many facades, and humans playing god with your chosen’s lives. It makes the stake in fake break them, and they all die on the inside due to the wrong hue called pride.
Too many false prophets are making the shake in fake break your people, and to fall in line of hobbits as routine sleepwalking machines. Everyday is the same decay of delay with choking dismay. Every year the same guests come around the same time, which is a switch in the gift of the Obey in Today. There’s too many Groundhog Day delay moments. Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit is not a routine. A message of the word should not leave your people moving like machines, or feeling empty. That’s what happens all the time in that building with no godly wings. Before you’ve blessed me to move on from that building with no godly wings, I wasn’t spiritually fed since my favorite pastor left for the south. I was just faithfully serving, and longing for more with you Daddy. And struggling to be obedient to you, for keeping me there longer than I wanted to be. It was hard playing my role to have your prophecy fulfilled with the humans I supernaturally saw right through. I wanted to leave after the fourth month of the year two thousand fifteen, from my last exchange with the man you won’t stop showing me to this day.
After that encounter in two thousand fifteen you confirmed the dark night storm, you showed me the tenth month of the year two thousand thirteen God. I didn’t want to be hurt anymore, or bear witness to the poisonous kiss that currently causes this man quicksand of internal hisses; but you didn’t bless me to leave until the eighth month of the year two thousand sixteen. Which is well after this man was swallowed into the dark night storm whale he dwells in now. It’s challenging that I can do nothing to help, and I’m not even sure he wants my help; or even understands he deeply needs help.
What I have peace with in this journey with you Daddy, is that I can never care about this man more than you do God. So that means only you can help him, and all I can do is keep praying like you’ve been telling me, and showing me to do. If I wasn’t walking this journey myself; I would’ve thought everything is insane and impossible in this dark night storm. But because you go before me God, I know with conviction that nothing is impossible if you are in the midst of all of this. And you are. I cannot make any of this up. It’s year three and you keep telling me the same truths over and over again regardless what currently reality shows.
What deeply concerns me about that building that no longer has your godly wings, is the spiritual leaders that speak words over your chosen’s lives that you never said to them yourself God. It deeply bothers me how powerful the bondage of tangibility is. This ruse of human confirmation is not in the bible, the way your chosen hang on the words of specific human’s in that building with no godly wings. It deeply disturbs me that your voice is not trusted over the quicksand of human’s choices. And your chosen are so caught up in the hype of titles like pastor, or status in popularity. It is alarming that your chosen forgot that Abram, Moses, Jeremiah, Esther, Samuel, or even Hannah Samuel’s mother had no human confirmation that backed up your voice for any of them God.
Jesus had no one backing up of human confirmation in what you told him God. Saul who became apostle Paul, had no human confirmation backing up what you told him either God. So why has society stripped themselves of their intimacy with you, by giving power to broken humans tongues called this confirmation dangerous lane? I’ll never understand this toxic habit that truly blinds and paralyzed your people. Especially like this man you keep showing me. He’s walking a life based on the words of humans and the lane of confirmation. This man is not sensitive to your still small voice. If he was, he wouldn’t be in the shoes he’s in now. That breaks my heart.
Or even your daughter Jojo* my best friend and sister for life: deeply struggles with this alarming bondage as well. And I get why you have me walking this insane testimony, so that I can reflect in this moment right now: humans can never come between what you speak to me God. Humans will keep their creep and cheap failed attempt to derail me from my alignment to you Daddy. I’m too deep in your word to get tripped up by the hiccups of human confirmation. That’s why you pulled me out of that routined building with no godly wings, because your chosen are sleepwalking machines with thick scales over their ears and eyes; which is the switch in the gift in Obey in Today for the decay’s of yesterday’s. That is why everything repeats in that building with no godly wings. The space that has no godly wings is in the disgrace of the past.
Daddy this is so hard.
God you’ve shown me an impossible task with this specific man, that is currently in an unhealthy reality that is far away from me. This man is living a life, where you keep supernaturally showing me causes him much strife, emptiness, and loneliness; even though he’s being obedient to what the humans speak over his life. The building with no godly wings encouraged him to currently talk the shoes he struggles to walk in the days that cause much dismay. His life is a tailspin that started in the sixth month of the year two thousand fifteen, where a specific woman made it a mission to never leave his space.
This man was clouded by many issues that were hard for him to face. This man had no real brotherhood holding him godly accountable in his space. If he did have this then he rejected your truths God. What that building with no godly wings paints as a love story for this man is nothing but a flesh god phony. This man was down, out, and lonely; and this specific woman capitalized on the hypnotize of a contest that forever changed this man’s life. Which is why this woman dies on the inside with the lies that gave her this current best last first bite strife life with this man. Even with all the hands in this relationship, it’s still a sinking drinking ship. In reality, especially supernaturally there’s nothing bigger than God. God’s will, no matter what humans, and their confirmation execute, will stop what God says will occur. What you have for your chosen will always be the destiny and road all feet will lead to.
It’s hard to care about this man and do nothing but keep my sword lifted in prayer during this insane dark night storm. All this agony and pain was arranged to take away all that makes this man decay in dismay inside, by the pride he used to hide all lies inside. Through this journey this man choose. Based on this man’s decisions, you God are taking every single weed that makes this son of yours bleed with broken need out. Thank God. Keep transforming your son into the man he was always called to be, so that he is finally set free. I pray the same for all your children stuck in the rut of a dark night storm to transform them into your perfect image. Thank you Holy Spirit, in Jesus name I pray in Today, amen.
Love your daughter.
*names changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy