people don’t want truth. 

people avoid biblical proof.

people want to abuse,

and refuse in the ruse. 

truth changes the arranges,

people fought or bought.

people don’t want to get caught. 

people like the spike in silence.

it’s an alliance to 

slum in the dumps

of the sins 

pretending its wins.

people want to be robotic. 

people want to be chaotic. 

people want to lie.

people want to hide.

people want their pride.

to be and flee with the enemy.

people want mixed drinks.

people want to sink, 

in the sins of fleshly thinking. 

people want wicked winking. 

people want to sex up,

and have peace to be in ease

of ungodly releases.

people want the known, 

to be cloned in drones alone.

people want facades,

to play dictating gods.

people want to ‘win’

in the slums of their sins.

people want the master, 

of fiscal deadly disasters. 

people want confetti,

to keep ignoring their empty.

people want to feed mistakes. 

people want to do things,

in the stings of their disobey

like wrong wedding rings.

to press play in delay 

and dismay to disobey in

the decay’s of yesterday’s. 

people want no tomorrow. 

people want their broken sorrows.

people want to patrol, 

in the deluded limited control.

people want to be hypnotic, 

to feed mutant stagnancy robotically. 

people want comfort. 

there’s numbers in slumber.

slumber is the number for comfort. 

slumber rejects and neglects confronting,

the spark on the dark inside 

of what’s not right by misguided lies. 

people don’t want to be accountable. 

people want worldly surmountable. 

people want the world coldly, 

and not boldly be called out. 

people don’t want to perish, 

so people are lukewarm 

to be fleshly conformed, 

and not transform 

to godly cherished. 

people want their flesh,

regardless if it’s a mess.

people want the inner war zone. 

people don’t want to grow a backbone. 

people don’t care to be aware. 

people don’t want to see,

only biblically sets us free.

people want to believe 

seeking the Kingdom of God 

is a facade mirage phony.

people want to pretend 

they’re not lonely.

people don’t want to wait. 

people want loopholes, 

to combat the Great I Am.

people want to wrestle God. 

people want to forget, 

and neglect that’s never 

a win just sinning disrespect 

to flesh, and painful messes

by the silent and violent oppression. 

people want to be petty. 

people want to be angry.

people want to be raged, 

in a stage full of caged wages. 

people want to hold on to ungodly, 

it justifies their lies to flee 

in darkness with the enemy. 

people aren’t interested in godly.

people don’t want the foolishness of God. 

people want the vulgarity in popularity. 

people want the barbarity in irregularity. 

people don’t want unity. 

people want crowds to community mutinies.

people want to travel and not unravel.

people want to be in loveless marriages, 

to feed the broken weed of fleshly savages. 

people don’t want to go against the grain. 

people want their pain to stay in vain. 

people want the rewind of time in their brain. 

people don’t want to pray. 

people don’t want to obey. 

people don’t want to stay still.

people want to suffocate 

without God’s Gills.

people want sexual cheap thrills.

people don’t want to be still.

people want to limit God. 

people want God tangible. 

people don’t want to see

isolation makes us flee

in darkness with the enemy.

Biblically accountability is three,

or more to be picked up from the floor.

people want to divert what hurts, 

to not have worth or supernatural. 

Jesus died for people. 

Jesus died for righteous. 

Jesus died for the sinners. 

Jesus died for the disobedient.

like the robotic allegiance

to the flag of the United States 

of divided America 

to the republic which quicksand 

is the land that no one can stand 

under the God that’s limited facades. 

people want to combust in lust.

people want pity.

people want no unity. 

people want fleshly 

not godly communities. 

people see God doing too much. 

people see God taking away 

what should stay and be okay.

people see God making the stake of fake, 

break and shake light brightly in 

the sin of what is not right. 

people throw tantrums, 

because they want their phantoms. 

people want egos not humility. 

people want delays not maturity.

people want kiss of lies that divide, 

instead of the slap of truth 

from God’s Biblical Proof.

people want to stay in the past. 

people don’t want to be set free.

people don’t want to see godly.

people want their mission, 

to never allow the final bow

of submission by His Permission. 

I’m a people too.

I feel these reels too,

but God is Creator, 

and God is far greater. 

so God keep pushing me 

to be godly not decay

in the disobey in my flesh.

so God keep holding me 

to have a higher standard 

where it’s impossible to ever 

settle in my limited mess

as a blind angry people 

ever again, push the confess.

Your Way not mine.

You call the shots God

not my blinding flesh facades rewind.

Keep dismantling me God.

Thank you King.

Love your daughter. 



he wants us three

on the sixteenth.

he’s putting it 

in the atmosphere. 

being there 

for us three,

is a yesteryear 

reappear catastrophe.

the desire is wildfire,

and not aligning 

to God’s Timing.

I didn’t trust what I was getting yesterday at dinner with Jojo* and I still don’t trust this insanity. How is this order? (1 Corinthians 14) We both prayed, and we were told to walk through it, and that we will see. That’s what we’ll continue to do: pray and wait. Biblically the Lord takes His Chosen from glory to glory. What I received doesn’t seem aligned to you God, or your timing but if this is of you God then time will reveal that. What’s not of God is snuffed out over time, that’s the biggest lesson I learned in my almost three year walk with my King who makes my soul sing. Things I’ve received from God about that he that God keeps saying is for me, I waited two years to speak on a prompting. If I spoke sooner it wouldn’t of felt so sticky. But I know God is a God that’s right on time. I never prayed on the timing I just said no for two years. But I had no peace about my no or silence anymore, and I spoke to who I was lead to speak to. That conversation forever changed my trajectory on this Christian walk, and how I see spiritual counsel. 

My bubbles of troubles popped about that building with no godly wings, and some of the human’s responsible for being spiritual leaders. It’s dangerous to play god over people’s lives. My eyes sadly opened to that cold harsh reality, of how deep web of lies, are rooted in playing god over someone’s life by spreading an ungodly wildfire. My observation is very mirroring to biblical testimonies. Like Leah’s father in Genesis. Spreading an ungodly wildfire by playing god in Jacob’s life. Leah’s father coached Jacob and Leah to be married when God blessed only Jacob and Rachel’s union, the Chosen was Joseph, which was Rachel and Jacob’s son. Rachel and Jacob was God’s ordained pairing. 

Leah and Jacob was the result of human’s pairing. Leah’s father who is also Rachel’s father, was a leader that misguided his following daughter’s lives for impure and selfish motives. Jacob was talented and prosperous, and Leah’s father wanted to reap Jacob’s benefits for as long as possible. This father was just determined to do his own thing: make sure Leah got married as well. It was time according to Leah’s father and not God. Leah’s father was tired of Leah not being married. Leah’s father was tired of waiting on God regarding prosperity. Leah’s father was impatient and decided to do something by playing god. That’s desperation. Desperation creates rabbit holes, and the swallowing inside the belly of a whale. How many of us make decisions based on being tired of waiting on God? And where did it land us? I know every time I made that decision, it landed me in quicksand, or the belly of a whale. 

he has to walk 

the talk about 

this throng song

being a wrong pitfall.

he’s used to 

being the hue: cocky.

he doesn’t want to see

that’s a hue 

that’s not true

or no longer 

stronger as the glue 

to be in misery

and flee with the enemy

with this she he married.

Daddy you do a lot about telling me about human’s that are not in my life or space. You know I don’t like knowing nothing. I like to keep my head to the ground, and mind my business. Biblically busybodies are ungodly. But you press specific couplings on my heart, and all I’ve been doing is praying for peace, truth, and acceptance to trust your voice God over the voice of human tangibility. Tangibility is a huge bondage a lot of Your Chosen get tripped up on. Like these human’s you’ve pressed on my heart who’s walking through their own ungodly wildfire, that sounds a lot like the testimony of Leah-Jacob-Rachel saga in Genesis.

The more I try to be detached the more you Daddy show out with visions, and dreams about a scene I left almost nine months ago. Nine months is a birthing timeframe. 37-40 weeks is a full term to be exact. Is this some kind of spiritual birthing process Daddy? I’m not with child in tangibility, but what are you trying to birth out of me supernaturally?! If you are… you’re not telling me much. I hate that, because you used to be so loud. 

This disciple silence is so not fun. And you know what’s also not fun Daddy!? Seeing and hearing about this he for me and these humans, which I’m ready to move on from Your Way not mine of course. Make what you’ve shown, and told me happen already. Daddy hearing and seeing the same things, for three and a half years, and it not matching reality is taxing and annoying. I am tired of all of this. 

It’s a bit absurd that I’m complaining after only three and a half years when Sarai and Abram had to wait ninety and hundred years respectfully before their promise happened. Jacob had to wait fourteen years before he got his love Rachel, and that was after he got tricked in that wildfire union with Leah. That’s my favorite testimony in the Bible. The Leah-Jacob-Rachel testimony is something that I’m drawn to. Moses took forty years to free the ungrateful humans from the wilderness. The book of Jeremiah in chapter twenty-nine had a promise that took seventy years. 

by his pride 

he cannot hide

from this hissed

kissed diss he witnesses.

he’s lonely 

in his marriage of phony.

his stony heart 

is defrosting and

he now sees 

what he cannot flee.

I never understood why I felt drawn to Genesis so strongly, or why I love that book so much until now. Seeing my third year with you Daddy, and seeing how you lead me to aggressively study the book of Proverbs over these past three years. I now understand you wanted me to have firmly planted roots like a bamboo: that needs three to five years, before it takes off like the tall beautiful creation it is. I called the he you say is for me bamboo, because you showed me a bamboo tree before I said it. 

So why am I really complaining about three years when I wasn’t even ready for what you’ve been showing me? You’re making me ready now Daddy. Daddy we are ungrateful in today’s time too. I’m ungrateful, and I’m not the only human that looses their praise. We have to be better in being thankful. 

Thank you Daddy for saving me, and changing me to be who you created me to be. Thank you from freeing me from lust, which made me combust and lost in darkened pitfalls. Thank you for the best sister, and spiritual twin I could ever ask for in Jojo. She sharpens me in a way I’ve never ever been sharpened before, and she holds me accountable when I don’t want to be. She isn’t afraid of me even though she’s a beautiful half pint. I’m so thankful for that. You’ve blessed me so much already Daddy. I’m in awe of your wonder, and please reach me to teach me to always remember my praise. I love you Daddy. 

Back to my favorite testimony: It didn’t matter what Leah did for Jacob, Jacob loved Rachel the moment he laid eyes on her. Leah gave Jacob four or five sons, I don’t recall and Rachel took a while before she gave Jacob: Joseph and Benjamin. Still Jacob loved Rachel. Jacob favored Joseph and Benjamin when he had other sons, but Rachel didn’t birth them. And God made Joseph the Chosen son, whom Rachel not Leah birthed. Issac was the Chosen son for Abram turned Abraham, whose mother was Sarai turned Sarah. 

Ishmael, who’s mother was Haggai, was not chosen but still blessed by God, because God is faithful and sovereign when we grow impatient. God is a protector when we take matters into our own hands as humans. This is a perfect example of when human’s play god and step in, but then God has the final say, and shows out on how sovereign he is through Joseph’s testimony, and through Isaac being Chosen not Ishmael, when Ishmael came first. Leah was first over Rachel,  but none of Leah’s children were chosen. Joseph was Chosen and his mother was Rachel, the ordained choice of God’s. Just like Sarah was the ordained choice for Abraham. Only God ordains, not human’s playing god in pairings, get bless with Chosen. God chooses Chosen not humans.

the stake in his fake 

breaks and shakes him inside.

he doesn’t want to see

he followed ungodly energy.

he doesn’t want to see

that building 

he serves and preserves 

has no godly wings.

wrong marital coupling

is ungodly corrupting.

I just want to live my life your way, and not be apart of decay’s of yesterday’s or a Groundhog Day mutant routine like the scene, of that building with no godly wings. Daddy, you blessed me to leave. But if what you want me to receive yesterday’s prompting is of you Daddy then make it so loud, and clear I cannot ignore you, like you did with that meeting that forever changed me. Until then Jojo isn’t on board, and neither am I. So time will tell what’s going to happen in the next few weeks.

ungodly corrupting 

by wrong coupling 

like he and his she

is an invitation for satan.

God will never bless

what human’s 

coach to fine tune

by wrong weed

seeds to bleed

in broken need,

and prune two 

wrong hues to be

in misery by

the lies 

in the slums of

their fearful sins.

like he and his she.

love is patient.

he and his she

were rushed to matrimony

after four months 

of secret sexual dating.

as a woman, 

the body is a temple.

That’s why it’s so imperative for all of us to discern, wait and pray on top of mediating on the word: both Old Testament and New Testament. Yes we are the New Testament in modern day time, but Old Testament is a foundation to trusting the voice of God that every single child of God’s must learn to discern, and grow with you Daddy. I have no idea how you’ll unfold everything you keep telling, and showing me. But all I can do is wait, and keep praying. I’ll never move ahead of you Daddy. I am committed to walking through my dark to Light transformation. 

It’s hard to come face to face with cold harsh realities, especially if we as humans develop skills like running, or being kinetic in the sense of ‘on to the next.’ We cannot ‘on to the next’ our brokenness. Our brokenness are deeply rooted to bondages that will keep us hostage, if we don’t still ourselves to lean on the strength of Jesus. Only through God is there gain in pain to walk us through our pending breakthroughs. 

From the direction you sway my pendulum rhyming scribing writing, it appears that some of Your Chosen are walking through some tough truths, and that’s hard to do. I cannot speak for everyone or anyone else, but I thought I knew better than you Daddy. I thought I was good, and cured from what happened to me at nineteen. Our current president election showed me I wasn’t, and I completely lied to myself for fourteen years. I had to walk through that cold hard reality, and that was extremely hard for me. We all must face what is buried as deep rooted disgrace.

men can’t respect 

what a woman neglects.

women must have standards.

when a woman doesn’t 

a man won’t teach or reach her

if he doesn’t love her.

Sex before marriage is lust

and disrespectful.

he and this she 

were sexually being unmarried

publicly in sin city.

the building 

with no godly wings

stepped in to clean

this scene to appear godly.

the building 

with no godly wings 

was focused on their image

and the recent public 

support of backing

this man in a contest

that made him debt free.

Biblically God is the reason

but in that season 

he focused on tangibility.

which is a switch

from the precious gift

in the Obey of Today.

he picked her

after secretly 

and sexually tasting her.

Biblically love waits.

Tangibly tasting

is clouded temporary mating.

Thank God for my best friend. She was lead by you the night of the election on what to do. After I walked through that painful process after fourteen years from running from it. I was freed from the bondage that held me in a chokehold, where I felt like a hostage. I was completely faking and fooling myself that being a virgin, and then raped didn’t traumatize me completely. I thought acting like I was tough, or it was no big deal was the way to go. 

Thank you Daddy for also freeing me from the toxicity that was hanging over me, from my relationship with that African prince. That forever changed me as a human, where I made reckless decisions in my self-inflicted incisions after we broke up. I never allowed myself to walk through that trauma either. I hate trauma. I hate PTSD. I hate being flared easily. I just serial dated, and convinced myself that trying one night stands was not only the rave, but what I craved. After I left the African prince who was a wince, and cheap creeping lemonade. The African prince’s cheap thrills made me snuff out Your Gills, and I wasn’t still. 

I could only stomach doing two one night stands, but it’s not true even though I was emotionally scarred from that African prince, I still hated premarital sex. But I had a hard time accepting my core values, because no one believed in them like me. Everyone was about sex, and I have a broken ‘fake it until you make it’ mentality. I lay that down Lord. I see sex outside an ordained marriage as an ungodly wildfire sexual savage. There are couples married that shouldn’t be, because God didn’t put them together, biblically we see the testimony of Leah-Jacob-Rachel and how the father played god. Too many human’s played god instead of allowing God to be God. There will always be consequences in choosing multiple voices, over the choice in God’s still small voice. That cold hard lesson I learned at the building with no godly wings, my old church which hurt. But the hurt had worth, because I chose you God, not flesh wildfire facades.

Sex complicated 


Sex fast forward 

an engagement ring,

which now stings

in the two strands

ungodly quicksand.

he and his she 

are unhappy collectively.

he and his she 

are spiraling in the

radioactive tailspin

through their misguided

‘spiritual wise counsel.’

the counsel motive

was protecting image.

too many cooks are

in his martial kitchen.

an impure confess

will never be 

seen as Holy blessed.

he now sees

he cannot be 

coached or poached

to love his she

he married or 

to be biblically

three strands.

God cannot be forced

in an ungodly course

of a worldly martial facade

when he and his she 

were approached to play god

to be with the enemy

blinding and lying

as decaying wildfire.

Daddy all of this is insanity, but you keep telling me:

You will see.

Trust me.

Be still.

Walk through it.

Okay Daddy I’ll walk through it, and thank God I’m walking through this with Jojo so we will continue to grow, and go at your pace in this race. We will continue to take this moment-to-moment as maddening as that is to face. Your Way is far greater, because you are Our Protective Creator. I love you Lord. Your will is my command. And I’ll keep holding onto the promises you’ll never stop telling me. 

“For perhaps he therefore departed for a season, that thou shouldest receive him for ever; Not now as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved, specially to me, but how much more unto thee, both in the flesh, and in the Lord?”

‭‭Philemon‬ ‭1:15-16‬ ‭KJV‬‬

he wants us three

on the sixteenth.

he’s putting it 

in the atmosphere. 

being there 

for us three,

is a yesteryear 

reappear catastrophe.

this desire is wildfire,

and not aligning 

to God’s Timing.

I love you King.

Thank you for 

making my soul sing.

Love your daughter.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy



I lay down any ungodly emotions that I have for these three daughter of yours. Fake is a stake that eventually breaks. Fake is darkness in desperate need of the Light of Jesus Christ, to shed brightly on what’s not right inside. Fake is intoxicated quicksand that’s addicting in sinking thinking, by hiding behind the misguided lies of pride. Fake is a frustration that all three of these daughter’s flee in misery with the enemy. Fake is the foundation of that building with no godly wings, in the self-inflicted incision decision these daughter’s permeate by cheap creeping lemonade ways. What’s done in the dark always comes to light. All impure motives are brought to the surface. Every deeply buried secret will come to light. It’s in the Bible:

“For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad. Take heed therefore how ye hear: for whosoever hath, to him shall be given; and whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he seemeth to have.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭8:17-18‬ ‭KJV‬‬

These three daughters are facing truths in uncontrollable ways. Daughter O, the same daughter I had that garden maze dream about last summer, is lonely and in aggressive deep prayer regarding her significant other, who wants to run for cover. Daughter T cannot believe what she keeps seeing about the he who wants to flee from daughter T. Daughter T doesn’t want to receive that this twenty-two month chase was a disgrace, and not a slam dunk. Daughter T fights to accept, and chooses to neglect the funk dumping quest in this mess is not biblically blessed by you God. Daughter T doesn’t want to see, what she aggressively achieved is toxicity for all the world to painfully see so publicly. 

Daughter T wants to make believe like Daisy, from The Great Gatsby. Daughter T wants to believe all the lies will stay buried inside, because her pride blinds her in the fleshly misguided destructive talk she wants to continue to walk. Sinking in thinking drinking is no longer working. Daughter T does not want to allow her final bow, because daughter T sees this he will be set free faithfully. This he has a supernatural dome she can never call home. Daughter T feels duped in her legalized lying loop. 

Daughter O refuses to lose in her newfound ruse with this man that sees her as legalized quicksand. Daughter O has to be successful in this setback, by bouncing back from what she believes is a satanic attack. Daddy why would I have dreamt about these two, last year where you supernaturally keep showing me they are right where you and I meet in my dreams currently? Time didn’t change what you keep showing me. How’s this an attack? Consistently is godly, not of satan. Chaos is disorder not order. I don’t personally know them, and I’m far removed from that building with no godly wings. I have been for over eight months. The rushing wind you showed me three and a half years ago about that building with no godly wings is also happening right now. Daughter O is aggressive in her layers of desperate prayers to reverse what she believes is a demonic curse. 

Daughter C wants to come for me, but how is that godly? Biblically love covers a multiple of sins. Only charity brings clarity. Barbarity is vulgarity in the prison of popularity, which is a mess humans feed in broken need by flesh. Reacting is flesh. Petty is flesh. Jealousy is flesh. Everything not biblically stated in Galatians 5:22-23, is flesh. Love covers sins. Flesh is sins. Sinning will never be godly winning. 

“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Being petty is a window access to the ungodly emotion known as jealousy. It bothers me that women struggle to be real sisters to each other. The only way to combat this severe curse that women suffer from, which is far more than men go through is for me to pray. I cannot pray, and be pissed at the same time. I cannot love, and hate at the same time. I cannot react in flesh, and be on my knees aggressively lifting women that are hurtful at the same time. 

Unconsciously there can be times where as ingrained sinners, we hurt those around us unintentionally. And there are times when there are intentional reactive responses. God is a God of stillness, order and peace. There’s no peace in being combative. There’s no peace in being reactive. There’s no order on starting disruption. There’s only chaos in disruption. Chaos isn’t godly. Chaos is worldly, and satan is of the world. The world is darkness. Thank God Jesus beat the darkness of death by turning on the light, and making it right on the Cross of Calvary. Thank God you taught me to meditate on 1 Corinthians 14 which biblically taught me to walk godly in this area. 

Yes, Jesus died for past, present, and future sins. That’s represented in all forms, such as a woman that’s a virgin, or a woman that’s in prostitution. Luke 7 is such a powerful chapter in the Bible. There’s so much going on here, and it’s one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. That chapter got me through a lot of painful days. Every time I meditate on it, I learn something new. I need to work on meditating on this gem even more. 

Simon the Pharisee judged the woman that was sinful with her body, but Jesus was in awe and full of love that she loved on Jesus aggressively, and openly not knowing what response she’ll receive back. Jesus died knowing we didn’t love him, so it’s very mirroring to me. That’s beyond beautiful and touching. Jesus forgave her sins. And she was made new. Like all sinners that seek Jesus as a Savior. We are not our past. We wouldn’t be blessed with new mercies every morning, if we were meant to be held hostage by the bondages of our past. 

We as women can only stay pure through the conscious aggressive decision of choosing to lift the cross, and deny our flesh every single day. Salvation is an undeserving gift we experience one time. However, sanctification is a daily war we must put on the armor of God to have a slither of a fighting chance in this barbaric dance. (Ephesians 6:11) Denying our flesh is hard. It only feels impossible when we forget to do this denying through God. Nothing is impossible through God. (Matthew 19:26) Choosing Jesus is a mindset to commit to, and through the accountability of the Holy Spirit, and the iron sharpeners that God blesses us with, is the only way to treat our body like the temple God tells us to treat it as. 

A purity ring can’t change a committed mindset. Being a virgin doesn’t change a committed mindset either. All humans commit: to sins or to godly wins. The heart check truly is what are we committing to. And do we have specks in our eyes that need to be taken out, before we notice logs in other eyes? Judging is a domain that biblically is only meant for God. We can’t judge a human’s Godly Glory, because we don’t know their painful journey, or story that brought them there. We all need heart checks, and I’m on that top of this list. I’m a hothead reactor in desperate need of a Savior who’s far greater. 

Thank you Jesus for the pruning, fine tuning, and blessing me with the greatest iron sharpening best friend I could ever pray for. She’s far better than what I prayed for. She’s far greater then I expected or deserve. God is in the business of blowing our minds. But we have to be open to the transforming from societal and cultural conformity in routined mutant deformity. We have to be open to transfer from dark to Light, to receive who we are called to be in all the godly prosperity made just for us. 

I’ll continue to lift my sword for your daughter’s, and the rest of the world to boldly not coldly, and to be in love by turning their back to the world. To openly turn backs to the vulgarity of popularity faithfully, as the humanity we are all called to be in unity. Sisterhood is a gift. Every woman should have a godly sisterhood. But we cannot have anything we are not ready for. So prepare us God. In Jesus name, amen. 

I love you Daddy.

Love your daughter. 



You’re deliberate. Regardless if I’m okay with keeping decay’s of yesterday’s internally, my dismay is not the way. It’s time to confess moments that gave me deep distress, and forever changed the way I’ve arranged my incorrect math on this path. You are my Creator that’s far greater, and make my direction straight, because it’s never too late according to the hue that will always be true: you Daddy. 

Supernaturally you told me how Sunday evening would play out. And tangibly I reacted like an uncooperative baby. Going to dinner with Jojo,* Lanta,* and her male friend was bigger than the surface displayed. Lanta’s male friend triggered my jar number four that you kicked to the door Daddy. The same number four I bumped into with Jojo last November, after that concert you summoned us to go to. Daddy, you know how you also summoned us to go to Birmingham, Alabama two weeks ago as well? Yes, that level of supernatural command, where we had no choice but to obey your loud still small voice. I accept this iron sharpening, but I also want slight enable, where you meet me in my brokenness, which you won’t even give me Daddy. Fine, even though I don’t think that’s fair. Biblical isn’t always fair right?

This past Sunday was bigger than all four parties sitting in that Friday’s restaurant. Lanta’s male friend immediately became my ex-boyfriend in my mind. They were so similar. I didn’t want to see, or acknowledge that a relationship that ended over six years ago triggers me so badly. That’s illogical because it’s not like I was in love with him. I wasn’t and I knew I wasn’t but I had sex with him, and I was tired of giving my body to a dude, and it didn’t work out so I was determined to make it work. But my ex’s bubbles of troubles were beyond my help. He was so hot and cold. He was so up and down. He was so day and night. Being his girlfriend was a battlefield. A battlefield I stepped on everyday, not knowing if I was going to successfully dodge the well-disguised bombs on the ground. At one point everyday felt like I was going to blow up. So I prepared myself the best way I knew how. This ex never physically abused me [thank God.] But emotionally I’m screwed up, because of this relationship. He did emotionally abuse me. 

So sitting across from Lanta’s male friend brought up memories I had no interest in walking through. And I was praying that I didn’t come off weird to everyone else. And I didn’t want to make this poor guy I didn’t know feel weird. I felt like he was coming for me the way my ex did when he blindsided me. I wasn’t ready for my ex, but I was ready for this guy. I’m always ready for someone now, because no one will ever come for me again. Fool me once not twice. This is my broken mentality Daddy. But this isn’t biblical so you walked me through the intense reminder this past Sunday, and you used that vessel that reminded me so much of my ex. 

The guy from Sunday carried himself like he thought he was African royalty, and my ex did that. I asked my ex why he walked around like he was an African prince, and he told me he was. I was flabbergasted and then he admitted to me where his family lived, and showed me and I was too through. I wanted to be a different Crysta after that moment. I asked myself what did I get myself into being with an African prince!? I never told anyone. And I think my ex picked up I didn’t open up about my private affairs, and he used that to his advantage. 

Things just went from bad to worse with my ex. I realized how possessive he was and it freaked me out. I did research and went down a rabbit hole of paranoia from what I discovered. That’s a trait of physical abuse, and I found so many horror stories online. The one that stood out the most was being chopped up. It was a broken replay in my brain. I just kept telling myself I can’t get chopped up, my family won’t survive that. But I swallowed all of this, and tried to figure out how to combat that dangerous trait my ex had. 

I wanted to surprise my ex with a weekend getaway to D.C. He always wanted to go to the Smithsonian, so I found a deal and was going to surprise him for his birthday. But he was such a douchebag the weekend I was about to book it so I said flip it. He literally snapped at me, because I was trying to figure out when he was free without giving the surprise away. And he thought I was cheating on him. We got into an unnecessary nasty fight, and I told him what I was trying to do, and he felt bad and said we could still go and I said no you killed the joy. I should’ve left then but I didn’t. It didn’t hurt enough.

Fast forward to this past Sunday this poor guy who was not my ex, became my ex because that’s what I saw. He’s in the same profession as my ex, dresses like my ex, had a Rolex like my ex. I was triggered so badly. I failed at playing it off. Jojo knew right away but Lanta didn’t know because I never opened up to her about this ex of mine. I asked this poor guy on Sunday if he was a prince and he said no. Then he said a funny joke that eased some of my tension, but I was still on edge and on guard. 

It’s really uncomfortable for me to write about this Daddy, but you’re leading me so I trust this process without borders. I come from a broken culture where it’s believed certain things stay hidden and go to our graves. And I honestly thought all my brokenness was supposed to stay with me until my grave. Daddy you keep telling me the he you showed me three and a half years ago is for me, and is coming to me. And I’m so freaked out, I don’t feel ready. I’m not where I need to be according to me. But according to the hue that will always be true: you Daddy, I am exactly where I need to be. 

I hate how all of this looks. I’m unemployed, in debt, broke, and emotionally vulnerable. I’m completely scarred, and need to be handle with some kiddy punk gloves. What about my tough girl act I worked my butt off to create?! Why did you have to take that? Why do I have to be so raw and so vulnerable and so annoyingly delicate? This is so stupid. Why do I have to be so blank and empty? I don’t like this Daddy. Why couldn’t I look how I wanted to look!? Like I’m established and good with walls in tact, where I know I can’t be hurt. I don’t know anything or what’s going to happen with this he you keep saying is for me, who I can’t flee from, and I now see I don’t want to actually. I just want to control how it looks when he comes to me. That would make me feel so much better, because I can ensure I won’t go into another war-zone on another battlefield. 

Daddy this is so hard. You want me to lay it all down. How can I protect myself if I do that? How can I show any man that they can’t come for me ever again, and their deep pockets doesn’t guarantee they no more than me, if you take this battlefield away from me? I know I don’t know everything Daddy, but I do know that I’m no longer hiding my intelligence you’ve blessed me with. I now walk in the confidence of Jesus Christ who’s the light that shines bright within me. I can do all things through Jesus. (Philippians 4:13.) This truth is ingrained in my veins. 

Daddy you want me to be a trusting blank canvas for this he you won’t stop saying is for me, and you tell me he loves me when love is an action word, and he never showed it. I showed more love to him than he did to me. This feels like insanity Daddy, but you want me to trust you in this area with this he you Daddy keep saying is for me, and that’s so scary. I don’t know how to do that. I’m so jacked up. I just want to be in a ball staring at a wall. Biblically giving up isn’t for me. So teach me and reach me, to see the parted Red Sea with this he you’ll never stop saying is for me. Show me and grow me, to be set free from my ready battlefield pending stings that will never be a wrestling ring. Show me and grow me to know there’s no rumbling tumble, because I’m safely tucked under Your Wings. Give me the strength to believe in this area that I’m an overcomer. Thank you Holy Spirit.

I love you Daddy.

Love your daughter.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy 


she’s caught up in 

the highlight reels

that make her peel

in the wheel

of hiccuped validation.

she’s needs to succeed

in the poison she feeds.

or so she believes, 

she doesn’t receive 

that the past 

is no longer 

a stronger steadfast 

gauge from her 

stage waged rage. 

when it’s a hissed

dissed page,

that the enemy 

sees makes her flee

in the dark 

with no spark. 

God is teaching

by reaching her

to see she is free,

and these benchmarks

are deliberate walks

to deactivate her 

flesh god facade talks.

she’s called to conquer

this provoking choking 

pitfall by giving her all.

in this fire, 

trust is required 

by faith not sight 

to cling to His Wings

fixated and liberated 

by the prize of 

Jesus Christ.

her abilities 

are God’s Facilities.

her godly boom is here.

she has nothing to fear.

her ribcage is steadfast

on the stage amassed

in love found bound

from Above, because 

her sweet smell 

is where her ribcage dwells.

there’s tranquility 

to their love story

on the land of Birmingham. 

Vicks is their affix epigram. 

she’s constancy 

and he’s with it.

she’s comedy 

and he’s with it.

he’s with her entire existence.

he’s walking in intentionality 

to make her see he’s all in.

no more sinning 

just godly winning

to the correct path 

in their godly math:

he + He + her = 

God’s Stir.

she’s ready to transfer

her status in the land

of His Kingdom Band.

he has her key and rings

he’s waiting for God’s okay

in joining two flesh as one.

with her by his side

he can do any ride.

This is their love story 

all for God’s Glory.



Since walking in the Light of Jesus Christ, my King that makes my soul sing has shed his loving life of light on all my pitfalls. My pride hides lies, which makes me die on the inside. Since walking in the Light of Jesus Christ all that’s not right is no longer stronger in the dark, because the pause in my isolated in running cause is sparked brightly. It’s year three with you and me Daddy of my rededication. So much has happened. I got baptized with my best friend  Jojo,* who’s the only human I completely trust. 

My bubble popped about large churches. My perception of brokenness in churches was only a perspective based on my Roman Catholic background. However, my reflection on my observations now I see that any church can fall prey to the setbacks of satanic attacks. The same church you God pulled me and Jojo out of is the same church I rededicated my life to Christ on 4.4.14; and Jojo dedicated her life. That building no longer has godly wings just sinful stings under wrong wedding rings. 

I don’t know how to let go of the no gain pain in the decision that blows my mind. As I scribe these rhymes, Jojo and I are talking about the day that forever changed the trajectory in the conundrum of my pendulum. Why did my freedom have to look so tangibly messy God? Why did the he you say is for me have to walk through such a painful, and public strife with a legalized lie in a saying by caged in rage eyes like best last first bite? Why did my freedom have to endure, and ensure that I never walk a talk like my mother? I’m over and under with my suppressed distressed blunders suddenly being set free openly. I’m so thankful I’m out of my old church. I’m so thankful I’m out of my recent job. I’m so thankful that God freed my best friend with me from all the unhealthy toxicities that were consuming and killing us. Regarding this he you God say is for me? This is a hard testimony to express even though I’m being set free. 

I was never interested in verbally expressing this part of my journey to the humans you lead me to speak to. I picked up their disbelief, or ungodly emotions like jealousy. But I was just being your obedient saint, and opened my mouth as you painted that part of this story. I prayed and I asked you why it was so necessary to obey, and you kept telling me witnesses. So I just went with your commands King, even though I was tired of hearing multiple versions that basically state:

“Clearly you’re wrong.”

“Everyone likes him.”

“I don’t know about 

that guy. He’s trouble.”

“He dated everyone 

and breaks hearts.”

“Uh… maybe he’s a 

test that you past.”

I literally wanted to smash every one of those imbeciles that bad mouthed this he you God keep saying is for me. Isn’t it ungodly to gossip? Last time I checked it was. If this son of God was a test, then what’s the lesson? And why’s this so called test still happening when I left the church almost eight months ago? Why would I be getting the same visions, and messages that I have a future with this son of God’s when he’s no where near me? There’s no reason for a test to still be executed when I’m completely removed. And how is “spiritual guidance, and wise counsel….” entail giving an opinion, and/or bad mouthing a son to the King? 

I thought biblical wise counsel was aligned to biblical truths. Biblically, Emmanuel: God with us states that we should not gossip. Biblically, Emmanuel: God with us states we should love our neighbors as ourselves. How is condemning a child of God love? It really made me see red when I was still serving in that church how people just assumed the worse of this son of yours Daddy, yet smiled in his face. That really annoyed me. First and foremost Daddy, he’s your son, and then the he you keep saying is for me. If these “amazing leaders,” that everyone in that building raved about couldn’t biblically cover a son of God’s, why should I be open to anything they had to say about this testimony that God still has me walking? 

This is year three on my journey of full throttle from dark to Light. Most of my pain that became gains through God started the fourth month of the year two thousand fifteen after the pale scale entry that you Daddy lead me to send to your son, and his response popped my bubbles of troubles in pretend. Although I knew the outcome, the action to execute prophecy being fulfilled made this he you Daddy say is for me real. 

If he stayed concealed, then I would not be walking through my healing by revealing now. This he you Daddy keep saying is for me pushed me higher to my alignment. This he you Daddy keep saying is for me made me aggressively cling to your wings and pray without ceasing. This he you Daddy say is for me made me even more determined to walk biblically and faithfully: chasing after the foolishness of God. Because of this he you Daddy keep saying is for me, I never wanted to settle or allow humans to play god over my life. I made the mental switch to never allow human’s to write a story that will never be for Your Glory Daddy. 

This he you Daddy keep saying is for me made me determined to only trust the voice of God. I was determined to never fall into that trap of multiple choices in human’s over your still small voice God. Despite everything I still think this he that you Daddy keep saying is for me is perfectly imperfect and your beautiful son of God. 

You blocked me Daddy from protecting this he you keep saying is for me. It really bothered me that so many humans in that building with no godly wings think the worse of this son of yours yet smiled in his face. It really bothers me that this he you say is for me was so invested emotionally, physically, and fiscally in a toxic community that uses his beautiful outer image and deep pockets. I see past all of that. I always saw past everything that people want to use this he you Daddy say is for me. 

The click sticked from the puzzle that went in it’s place as one flesh. I saw a puzzle of a heart, and the center of its missing piece go in it’s place. At the same time, I heard a click sound the moment I laid eyes on this he God says is for me in the eleventh month of the year two thousand thirteen. I realized this building with no godly wings is comfortable down-sizing God by making God the Creator who’s greater than all tangible and small. Supernatural and tangible will never be the same. This he you God keep saying is for me even tried to tell me that you God told him about me when we used to play trivia crack. But in that moment before we were interrupted you also told me that he wasn’t ready God. 

I had to walk through what I did in that building with no godly wings, so that your prophecy can be fulfilled regardless of how done I was. I wanted to leave the moment my favorite pastor got called to the south. His sermons I trusted, because he was about alignment. Everyone else was about feelings of flesh too many moments for my liking. When you’re called to a pastoral role, it is the greatest honor but the most reflective position that requires great protection, and aggression to be so sensitive to the Holy Spirit. 

I used to reference this he you God say is for me, by a name that is now personally in this son of yours life. I used to call this son of yours that said name in the year two thousand fourteen on my blog. After you lead me to that name, I saw a vision of a little girl, and I didn’t know who she was. I didn’t know because she wasn’t born yet. She was born last fall. I don’t understand why you having me scribing this again Daddy. I said all of this before. Freedom, that word you keep telling me about, or you keep pointing me to is freedom Daddy. This is all about my freedom, and his. Okay so re-teach me Your Way, not my broken way of believing love conquers all. Okay so re-reach me to take a leap and trust, hope, believe [in love again] without borders with this he you won’t stop saying is for me, and that you won’t stop saying will never hurt me again. 

Thank you Daddy for healing me,

from that teaching residency 

that was killing me.

Thank you Daddy for healing me, 

with another chance 

in my second big chop.

Thank you Daddy for healing me, 

to no longer be stronger 

in concealing my lost 

of appetite problem, 

by telling Jojo every time 

I lose my appetite.

Thank you Daddy for healing me, 

with rest and releasing 

all that’s been 

buried and displeasing.

Thank you Daddy for protecting 

this he you will always 

say is from me, 

from all the evils 

that cannot touch him. 

Thank you Daddy for setting me 

in freedom that reigns 

because my pain has gain with you King. 

Thank you Daddy 

for still having a roof 

over my head.

Thank you Daddy for protecting 

my parents in their ailing health. 

Thank you Daddy for healing 

my heart and all the darkest 

corners that were bruised 

by abuse and ruses.

Thank you Daddy for trusting me, 

to walk without borders 

in the deep blue sea.

I have trust you’re preparing 

me to leap faithfully, 

with this he you will 

always say is for me. 

Thank you Daddy for teaching me, 

to no longer be afraid to leap 

into the unknown to freedom.

I love you King.

Love your daughter.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy 

lay down 

Dearest Abba,

Thank you God for this broken daughter’s life. Lord I pray that you cover her God. I pray that you use this moment of me lifting your daughter as a healing process by revealing all the ill emotions I feel that can no longer be concealed. 

Lord, I’m deeply bothered by this broken daughter’s inability to ask for help. This broken daughter bothers, more than your other younger broken daughter with the sage caged in rage eyes. It deeply bothered me that this broken daughter secretly judged the sage caged in rage eyes daughter, for doing it wrong with the man she’s in quicksand with. It deeply bothered me, especially when your broken daughter too went and did it wrong secretly; in a cheap creep with a he that will never be for her. I wouldn’t be surprised if your daughter is upset, she didn’t get as “far” as your sage caged in rage eyes daughter did. 

Yet because of this he’s image and status your broken daughter was willing to swallow his regurgitated madness to be his mrs. in a hissed dissed legalized lie. Like your sage caged in rage daughter’s currently sinking, by her sinful thinking sinning not winning two strand marriage. Daddy your daughter’s that have this mindset are severely broken, and it’s disheartening. Settling always hurts your daughter’s the most. Not the men, because men are covered and bounce back a lot faster than a woman can. Upsetting as this truth is, it cannot be ignored. What’s done in the dark always comes to the light. (Philippians 4:7) That’s why your sage caged in rage eyes daughter is hurting right now, from her wrong hallow swallow secretive bow that’s on fully display. Your sage caged in rage eyes daughter nonverbally okayed showing she doesn’t have any standards, because she didn’t know her worth. Your broken daughter got blocked from looking like your sage caged in rage eyes daughter looks now. 

It appears that your broken daughter didn’t want to take the log out of her own eyes. It’s starting to truly become clear, that many people didn’t want to help this sage caged in rage eyes daughter, from looking how she currently looks. That’s unfortunate. I know this broken daughter has a high level of discernment, we had many conversations on supernatural. It is unfortunate that this broken daughter had access to this sage caged in raged eyes daughter, which she could’ve helped but she didn’t. Maybe that’s why she is also looking like she’s hurting too. We are all called to conquer our pitfalls, but we cannot do them alone. Sisterhood is a necessity and a rare iron sharpens iron gift. I wouldn’t be where I am today without my best friend Jojo,* and her relentless purist pursuit to get me to be set free by biblical truth. I may not say that enough, but I wouldn’t be the woman of God today if it wasn’t for my best friend Jojo*. 

Daddy I take hypocritical stupidity personally, which is biblically known as the blinding fearful brokenness in wickedness. Clean my heart Lord, I wanted to knock out your broken daughter’s teeth and make her choke on them, because the he she went after belongs to my best friend. That’s ungodly and you blocked me. I’m ready to defend ordained to the end. But I must do this Your Way not my way. But God you have the final say in what’s played out, and what’s okayed in all stories. No matter the degrees or decree, we will always be for Your Glory. No matter the path, or incorrect math we take on our journeys, you God lead us to the final bow on our knees Lord. 

I always knew there was something fake about this daughter of yours, and her voice is not as beautiful as it used to be. The process of our heart checks are too real, and we have no control over how they look, like this broken daughter of yours looks now. I was super annoyed that you called me to this broken daughter to be in love and to be kind. I saw how her bondages held her as a hostage, from the societal and cultural habitual brokenness by her inheritance. 

What I saw even stronger was the fake stake she didn’t want to break. This broken daughter wanted to keep choking in the provoking, to absently be blind in the rewind in time known as stagnancy. This broken daughter’s lying layer had no godly prayer. This broken daughter actually has the audacity to want the burning bush, and the burning flesh that invested in the man that will always be for my best friend. That bothered me so much about this broken daughter. 

God you didn’t let me call her out. God you didn’t let me call out anyone in that building that now has no godly wings, just sinful stings. You God didn’t even let me call out that ignorant false prophet that’s a destructive hobbit, who thought he could get me caught up in the hiccup as a puppet and hobbit like the role he played, with the he you will always say is for me. The he you will always say is for me, is the key to the tumbling rumble, in the building that now has no godly wings, just sinful stings. 

Thank God you pulled me, my best friend, and her ribcage out of that unsafe place. It bothers me that the he you God say is for me is still associated to that ugly backwards hat toxicity. But you God keep telling me:

Trust Me.

you will see.

be still.

Daddy you’ve been telling me all of this, since I had that meeting with that destructive false prophet, in the first month of the year two thousand sixteen. Daddy my heart is on fire right now. Lord, I lay this all down. I lay down my anger and bitterness towards that false prophet. I lay down my expectations and anger in this broken daughter, and taking her hypocrisy personally. I lay down any residue left that’s ungodly regarding your sage caged in rage eyes daughter who’s going through it all by herself. Lord I lay this all down. You have them all Lord. My heart is so warm right now. I pray this is your fire God that cannot be contained or controlled. I let go of my anger, expectations, and bitterness for all your daughter’s especially the daughter that birthed me. Only you can change them all. So I will choose to be in love and not be ungodly anymore. Hold me accountable in this decision and freedom Lord, in Jesus name I pray. Amen. Thank you Holy Spirit. 

Send Your Power. 

Have Your Way. 

Part all Red Sea’s 

for your chosen 

that need to be 

set free biblically. 

I love you King.

Love your daughter.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy