Admit how I feel

for what? 

It doesn’t change

the arrange of this painful

reel that I witnessed

this he aggressively

flee in this journey 

by the prideful lies 

in the slums 

of his sins with this 

internally ugly wrong she 

that’s never

going to be me.

I do believe this he

knew he didn’t want 

this wrong she

biblically just sexually

and secretively at the time.

I do believe

this he knew

he was clouded 

by the sexual lust

that’s now combusted

from the faded radiated rust. 

The building with no

godly wings stepped in

on the fun with no sun, 

and played a key role

to what’s now between

this wrong she 

and this he currently:

wrong she is awkward, and

this he is in regret mode.

even though the building 

with no godly wings 

joined these two

wrong hues legally, 

it’s still not biblically. 

Jesus Christ came

to die and rise again 

on the Cross of Calvary 

to destroy legalities 

like manmade law.

The manmade law makes us fall 

in a pitfall from His Grace.

The multiple voices

that coached these

two wrong hues

that bonded in flesh

to appear to be godly.

That cannot stop

the growing wedge

in this worldly marriage.

Biblically God joins

a man and a woman

because biblically

a woman is the rib

from the man’s ribcage.

Biblically God took us

on a supernatural journey

in the beginning of time, 

in my favorite book: Genesis, 

with the man

and woman in the 

Garden of Eden.

God is supernatural.

God is love.

All good things 

come from Above.

(James 1:17)

Therefore love is 

truly supernatural

not tangible. 

What this he and 

wrong she have

is tangible flesh

that faded.

Tangible never lasts.

Which is why this

wrong she is on

a journey of being exposed

by all the lies and ungodly

actions in her now realized

unsatisfied execution.

Wrong she was 

on a journey to

own this he

because wrong she

felt entitled to make

this he her entity.

All wrong she looks 

like is alone and biblically foolish

by returning to her folly

in that crowds to community

cloned drone phony space

in a sinful disgrace 

no one wants her in their face.

Wrong she’s two strands

mrs. title in her worldly quicksand 

didn’t change this truth.

The default black tee

she received because she’s married

didn’t change this truth.

This wrong she

now sees what God told her

in the summer before

she got her rings 

that now make her sting:

This will not end well for you.

Let go and come home to me.

He will never be what you want.

You’ll grow further and further apart.

No one can help you undo

what you know is true.

He doesn’t belong with you.

Still knowing

how this journey will

unfold, wrong she

had a reputation 

in that building 

with no godly wings

as a law of average 

sexual savage.

Wrong she’s god complex 

made her think and sink

in the idea that she

can beat God.

Biblically no one defeated God.

No one can defeat God.  

I personally witness this wrong she

go after another man

that’s close to this he

that you keep saying

is for me Daddy.

This he and that man

used to be roommates.

I was told about two other

men she aggressively went 

on a journey to get as well.

This wrong she moves ungodly.

Biblically a woman waits.

Biblically he who findeth a wife….

findeth a good thing.

A wife cannot find herself.

This wrong she moves

ungodly in this journey

if all were still and discerned

the eyes will see

this wrong she is worldly 

and doesn’t want to be godly.

This wrong she is

on a journey of pretending

to get this he in the space

she wants him to be.

But thank God

he’s supernaturally protected

by the dome she’s rejected from

and cannot call home.

The sex, the ring exchanges, 

the trips, and everything else

this legalized lying strife

of the four hundred

forty seven day journey

cannot get this wrong she entry 

of this he’s dome.

I can have entry, and did. 

Jojo* can have entry, and did.

and her ribcage can have entry, and did.

Less than sixth

months before 

she got her hooks

into this he

God won’t stop saying 

is for me,

wrong she got another man

kicked out of that building 

with no godly wings:

on a cry of rape,

which triggered my own painful

journey I thought I escaped.

At nineteen I was raped.

That rape forever changed me.

I knew she lied immediately. 

It’s fourteen years 

later for me, and I still

have to fight to curl in a ball.

No one touched me 

for four years

after I was raped.

And I consider 

myself blessed. 

God covered me.

I never got pregnant 

or any disease.

God covered me completely 

and walked me 

through a fourteen

year painful journey that 

I’m slowly seeing 

is making me

be set free godly.

There’s no way a woman

can be raped, 

and less than four months 

later get in a new sexual relationship,

that had a four month dating 

track that landed in a marriage.

This wrong she lied.

Everything that comes out

of wrong she’s mouth is a lie.

Pathological lying is an addiction

like drugs, alcohol, and sex.

Wrong she is an addict

that gets hooked on new drugs.

Lying is wrong she’s current drug.

All things she’s at one point had

a problem with it or still does.

Only God knows what this

wrong she needs to unfold internally.

What deeply bothered me 

about that wrong she’s story,

is the women that really were/are raped.

Like me and all the others that

have a hard time admitting a painful

experience like that. 

I didn’t open my mouth right away.

And I told my family six months

to a year later. To this day

some of my family still doesn’t know. 

I was disgusted by this wrong she

ever since I heard her lying story.

But you kept me far away

from that toxic lying decay

wrong she who would never be me.

This he was so wrapped up

in the fears of his mind at the time.

It broke my heart

this wrong she used 

this he’s vulnerability 

to trick him to stick

in his space. 

It broke my heart

that so many people 

knew what this wrong she

was doing and stayed silent.

God I prayed on if they all

were supposed to stay quiet

and you said no. I wanted to

hurt them too. And lost all respect

for that fake no unity

night community full of facades

and flesh feeding human gods. 

It’s not okay the common

theme in that building 

with no godly wings

is to play god over people’s lives.

Just like the strife over this he’s life.

It doesn’t make sense 

to express what caused 

me deep stress.

Daddy you’re changing me

I can no longer keep

these hallow swallows

inside by my pride 

that lies and say I’m okay.

I’m not okay to the point

I can no longer be silent.

I’m awaken by my stake 

of fake that’s shaken 

and break me to speak up.

Because you God want me

to be set free godly.

My journey to redemption 

is confessions on a road

that exposes me

and I’m not interested in

my pain to have godly gain

because all of this will be

publicly seen. 

The only blessing in this 

is it is an opportunity for people

to connect dots 

that have similar journey’s,

and be inspired to 

want to be set free too.

Which is great but the he

that you God say is for me

scares me so deeply.

I can’t get hurt by him.

I’ll die. I know I’ll die.

I survived other experiences

through your grace 

and mercy, where you

supernaturally healed me

from what made me die but 

I cannot survive him.

I barely handled 

the direct message,

but you used 

and designed his lying words

to jolt and catapult both 

this he and me in 

our wilderness journey’s,

to expose all our hinderance’s

that we kept hidden by pride

in the slums of our 

sins and active tailspins. 

Our radioactive insides are

misguided by lies

that decayed our way

in pale scales that now fail.

The sorrow’s of 

no tomorrow’s are over.

It’s our time to stop

the clock of rewind

and free our minds.

Daddy you want us

to embrace the anointing 

in our calling to conquer

this pitfall and feel your tender

love found bound from Above.

Daddy you want us 

to breathe with ease faithfully

and be set free

for all the world to see.

Okay as long as 

you’re with me 

on this journey Daddy 

then I’m ready

to let go everything

I know. I lay down

all my expectations

and gauges from 

my family’s brokenness

because it’s truly 

a hinderance to my deliverance.

I cling to your wings Daddy

in this season of unnerving 

uncertainty on this journey. 

I don’t know what’s 

going to happen to me,

or my family but you do Daddy.

And since I trust you Daddy,

I will keep my eyes fixed

on the prize: Jesus Christ.

I will trust you Daddy

and cling to your words 

You will see.

I love you my King.

Despite this pitfall,

I’ll do this journey 

all over again

if it means 

I’m protected 

and connected 

to you Daddy 

for all eternity. 

Love your daughter.

*names changes for privacy purposes #TeamProPrivacy


2 thoughts on “Journey

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