freedom

Daddy,

Since walking in the Light of Jesus Christ, my King that makes my soul sing has shed his loving life of light on all my pitfalls. My pride hides lies, which makes me die on the inside. Since walking in the Light of Jesus Christ all that’s not right is no longer stronger in the dark, because the pause in my isolated in running cause is sparked brightly. It’s year three with you and me Daddy of my rededication. So much has happened. I got baptized with my best friend  Jojo,* who’s the only human I completely trust. 

My bubble popped about large churches. My perception of brokenness in churches was only a perspective based on my Roman Catholic background. However, my reflection on my observations now I see that any church can fall prey to the setbacks of satanic attacks. The same church you God pulled me and Jojo out of is the same church I rededicated my life to Christ on 4.4.14; and Jojo dedicated her life. That building no longer has godly wings just sinful stings under wrong wedding rings. 

I don’t know how to let go of the no gain pain in the decision that blows my mind. As I scribe these rhymes, Jojo and I are talking about the day that forever changed the trajectory in the conundrum of my pendulum. Why did my freedom have to look so tangibly messy God? Why did the he you say is for me have to walk through such a painful, and public strife with a legalized lie in a saying by caged in rage eyes like best last first bite? Why did my freedom have to endure, and ensure that I never walk a talk like my mother? I’m over and under with my suppressed distressed blunders suddenly being set free openly. I’m so thankful I’m out of my old church. I’m so thankful I’m out of my recent job. I’m so thankful that God freed my best friend with me from all the unhealthy toxicities that were consuming and killing us. Regarding this he you God say is for me? This is a hard testimony to express even though I’m being set free. 

I was never interested in verbally expressing this part of my journey to the humans you lead me to speak to. I picked up their disbelief, or ungodly emotions like jealousy. But I was just being your obedient saint, and opened my mouth as you painted that part of this story. I prayed and I asked you why it was so necessary to obey, and you kept telling me witnesses. So I just went with your commands King, even though I was tired of hearing multiple versions that basically state:

“Clearly you’re wrong.”

“Everyone likes him.”

“I don’t know about 

that guy. He’s trouble.”

“He dated everyone 

and breaks hearts.”

“Uh… maybe he’s a 

test that you past.”

I literally wanted to smash every one of those imbeciles that bad mouthed this he you God keep saying is for me. Isn’t it ungodly to gossip? Last time I checked it was. If this son of God was a test, then what’s the lesson? And why’s this so called test still happening when I left the church almost eight months ago? Why would I be getting the same visions, and messages that I have a future with this son of God’s when he’s no where near me? There’s no reason for a test to still be executed when I’m completely removed. And how is “spiritual guidance, and wise counsel….” entail giving an opinion, and/or bad mouthing a son to the King? 

I thought biblical wise counsel was aligned to biblical truths. Biblically, Emmanuel: God with us states that we should not gossip. Biblically, Emmanuel: God with us states we should love our neighbors as ourselves. How is condemning a child of God love? It really made me see red when I was still serving in that church how people just assumed the worse of this son of yours Daddy, yet smiled in his face. That really annoyed me. First and foremost Daddy, he’s your son, and then the he you keep saying is for me. If these “amazing leaders,” that everyone in that building raved about couldn’t biblically cover a son of God’s, why should I be open to anything they had to say about this testimony that God still has me walking? 

This is year three on my journey of full throttle from dark to Light. Most of my pain that became gains through God started the fourth month of the year two thousand fifteen after the pale scale entry that you Daddy lead me to send to your son, and his response popped my bubbles of troubles in pretend. Although I knew the outcome, the action to execute prophecy being fulfilled made this he you Daddy say is for me real. 

If he stayed concealed, then I would not be walking through my healing by revealing now. This he you Daddy keep saying is for me pushed me higher to my alignment. This he you Daddy keep saying is for me made me aggressively cling to your wings and pray without ceasing. This he you Daddy say is for me made me even more determined to walk biblically and faithfully: chasing after the foolishness of God. Because of this he you Daddy keep saying is for me, I never wanted to settle or allow humans to play god over my life. I made the mental switch to never allow human’s to write a story that will never be for Your Glory Daddy. 

This he you Daddy keep saying is for me made me determined to only trust the voice of God. I was determined to never fall into that trap of multiple choices in human’s over your still small voice God. Despite everything I still think this he that you Daddy keep saying is for me is perfectly imperfect and your beautiful son of God. 

You blocked me Daddy from protecting this he you keep saying is for me. It really bothered me that so many humans in that building with no godly wings think the worse of this son of yours yet smiled in his face. It really bothers me that this he you say is for me was so invested emotionally, physically, and fiscally in a toxic community that uses his beautiful outer image and deep pockets. I see past all of that. I always saw past everything that people want to use this he you Daddy say is for me. 

The click sticked from the puzzle that went in it’s place as one flesh. I saw a puzzle of a heart, and the center of its missing piece go in it’s place. At the same time, I heard a click sound the moment I laid eyes on this he God says is for me in the eleventh month of the year two thousand thirteen. I realized this building with no godly wings is comfortable down-sizing God by making God the Creator who’s greater than all tangible and small. Supernatural and tangible will never be the same. This he you God keep saying is for me even tried to tell me that you God told him about me when we used to play trivia crack. But in that moment before we were interrupted you also told me that he wasn’t ready God. 

I had to walk through what I did in that building with no godly wings, so that your prophecy can be fulfilled regardless of how done I was. I wanted to leave the moment my favorite pastor got called to the south. His sermons I trusted, because he was about alignment. Everyone else was about feelings of flesh too many moments for my liking. When you’re called to a pastoral role, it is the greatest honor but the most reflective position that requires great protection, and aggression to be so sensitive to the Holy Spirit. 

I used to reference this he you God say is for me, by a name that is now personally in this son of yours life. I used to call this son of yours that said name in the year two thousand fourteen on my blog. After you lead me to that name, I saw a vision of a little girl, and I didn’t know who she was. I didn’t know because she wasn’t born yet. She was born last fall. I don’t understand why you having me scribing this again Daddy. I said all of this before. Freedom, that word you keep telling me about, or you keep pointing me to is freedom Daddy. This is all about my freedom, and his. Okay so re-teach me Your Way, not my broken way of believing love conquers all. Okay so re-reach me to take a leap and trust, hope, believe [in love again] without borders with this he you won’t stop saying is for me, and that you won’t stop saying will never hurt me again. 

Thank you Daddy for healing me,

from that teaching residency 

that was killing me.

Thank you Daddy for healing me, 

with another chance 

in my second big chop.

Thank you Daddy for healing me, 

to no longer be stronger 

in concealing my lost 

of appetite problem, 

by telling Jojo every time 

I lose my appetite.

Thank you Daddy for healing me, 

with rest and releasing 

all that’s been 

buried and displeasing.

Thank you Daddy for protecting 

this he you will always 

say is from me, 

from all the evils 

that cannot touch him. 

Thank you Daddy for setting me 

in freedom that reigns 

because my pain has gain with you King. 

Thank you Daddy 

for still having a roof 

over my head.

Thank you Daddy for protecting 

my parents in their ailing health. 

Thank you Daddy for healing 

my heart and all the darkest 

corners that were bruised 

by abuse and ruses.

Thank you Daddy for trusting me, 

to walk without borders 

in the deep blue sea.

I have trust you’re preparing 

me to leap faithfully, 

with this he you will 

always say is for me. 

Thank you Daddy for teaching me, 

to no longer be afraid to leap 

into the unknown to freedom.

I love you King.

Love your daughter.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy 

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2 thoughts on “freedom

  1. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💋👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾🔥🔥🔥 #speechless #noneedforwords #micsdropsandremainsonthefall

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