wildfire

he wants us three

on the sixteenth.

he’s putting it 

in the atmosphere. 

being there 

for us three,

is a yesteryear 

reappear catastrophe.

the desire is wildfire,

and not aligning 

to God’s Timing.

I didn’t trust what I was getting yesterday at dinner with Jojo* and I still don’t trust this insanity. How is this order? (1 Corinthians 14) We both prayed, and we were told to walk through it, and that we will see. That’s what we’ll continue to do: pray and wait. Biblically the Lord takes His Chosen from glory to glory. What I received doesn’t seem aligned to you God, or your timing but if this is of you God then time will reveal that. What’s not of God is snuffed out over time, that’s the biggest lesson I learned in my almost three year walk with my King who makes my soul sing. Things I’ve received from God about that he that God keeps saying is for me, I waited two years to speak on a prompting. If I spoke sooner it wouldn’t of felt so sticky. But I know God is a God that’s right on time. I never prayed on the timing I just said no for two years. But I had no peace about my no or silence anymore, and I spoke to who I was lead to speak to. That conversation forever changed my trajectory on this Christian walk, and how I see spiritual counsel. 

My bubbles of troubles popped about that building with no godly wings, and some of the human’s responsible for being spiritual leaders. It’s dangerous to play god over people’s lives. My eyes sadly opened to that cold harsh reality, of how deep web of lies, are rooted in playing god over someone’s life by spreading an ungodly wildfire. My observation is very mirroring to biblical testimonies. Like Leah’s father in Genesis. Spreading an ungodly wildfire by playing god in Jacob’s life. Leah’s father coached Jacob and Leah to be married when God blessed only Jacob and Rachel’s union, the Chosen was Joseph, which was Rachel and Jacob’s son. Rachel and Jacob was God’s ordained pairing. 

Leah and Jacob was the result of human’s pairing. Leah’s father who is also Rachel’s father, was a leader that misguided his following daughter’s lives for impure and selfish motives. Jacob was talented and prosperous, and Leah’s father wanted to reap Jacob’s benefits for as long as possible. This father was just determined to do his own thing: make sure Leah got married as well. It was time according to Leah’s father and not God. Leah’s father was tired of Leah not being married. Leah’s father was tired of waiting on God regarding prosperity. Leah’s father was impatient and decided to do something by playing god. That’s desperation. Desperation creates rabbit holes, and the swallowing inside the belly of a whale. How many of us make decisions based on being tired of waiting on God? And where did it land us? I know every time I made that decision, it landed me in quicksand, or the belly of a whale. 

he has to walk 

the talk about 

this throng song

being a wrong pitfall.

he’s used to 

being the hue: cocky.

he doesn’t want to see

that’s a hue 

that’s not true

or no longer 

stronger as the glue 

to be in misery

and flee with the enemy

with this she he married.

Daddy you do a lot about telling me about human’s that are not in my life or space. You know I don’t like knowing nothing. I like to keep my head to the ground, and mind my business. Biblically busybodies are ungodly. But you press specific couplings on my heart, and all I’ve been doing is praying for peace, truth, and acceptance to trust your voice God over the voice of human tangibility. Tangibility is a huge bondage a lot of Your Chosen get tripped up on. Like these human’s you’ve pressed on my heart who’s walking through their own ungodly wildfire, that sounds a lot like the testimony of Leah-Jacob-Rachel saga in Genesis.

The more I try to be detached the more you Daddy show out with visions, and dreams about a scene I left almost nine months ago. Nine months is a birthing timeframe. 37-40 weeks is a full term to be exact. Is this some kind of spiritual birthing process Daddy? I’m not with child in tangibility, but what are you trying to birth out of me supernaturally?! If you are… you’re not telling me much. I hate that, because you used to be so loud. 

This disciple silence is so not fun. And you know what’s also not fun Daddy!? Seeing and hearing about this he for me and these humans, which I’m ready to move on from Your Way not mine of course. Make what you’ve shown, and told me happen already. Daddy hearing and seeing the same things, for three and a half years, and it not matching reality is taxing and annoying. I am tired of all of this. 

It’s a bit absurd that I’m complaining after only three and a half years when Sarai and Abram had to wait ninety and hundred years respectfully before their promise happened. Jacob had to wait fourteen years before he got his love Rachel, and that was after he got tricked in that wildfire union with Leah. That’s my favorite testimony in the Bible. The Leah-Jacob-Rachel testimony is something that I’m drawn to. Moses took forty years to free the ungrateful humans from the wilderness. The book of Jeremiah in chapter twenty-nine had a promise that took seventy years. 

by his pride 

he cannot hide

from this hissed

kissed diss he witnesses.

he’s lonely 

in his marriage of phony.

his stony heart 

is defrosting and

he now sees 

what he cannot flee.

I never understood why I felt drawn to Genesis so strongly, or why I love that book so much until now. Seeing my third year with you Daddy, and seeing how you lead me to aggressively study the book of Proverbs over these past three years. I now understand you wanted me to have firmly planted roots like a bamboo: that needs three to five years, before it takes off like the tall beautiful creation it is. I called the he you say is for me bamboo, because you showed me a bamboo tree before I said it. 

So why am I really complaining about three years when I wasn’t even ready for what you’ve been showing me? You’re making me ready now Daddy. Daddy we are ungrateful in today’s time too. I’m ungrateful, and I’m not the only human that looses their praise. We have to be better in being thankful. 

Thank you Daddy for saving me, and changing me to be who you created me to be. Thank you from freeing me from lust, which made me combust and lost in darkened pitfalls. Thank you for the best sister, and spiritual twin I could ever ask for in Jojo. She sharpens me in a way I’ve never ever been sharpened before, and she holds me accountable when I don’t want to be. She isn’t afraid of me even though she’s a beautiful half pint. I’m so thankful for that. You’ve blessed me so much already Daddy. I’m in awe of your wonder, and please reach me to teach me to always remember my praise. I love you Daddy. 

Back to my favorite testimony: It didn’t matter what Leah did for Jacob, Jacob loved Rachel the moment he laid eyes on her. Leah gave Jacob four or five sons, I don’t recall and Rachel took a while before she gave Jacob: Joseph and Benjamin. Still Jacob loved Rachel. Jacob favored Joseph and Benjamin when he had other sons, but Rachel didn’t birth them. And God made Joseph the Chosen son, whom Rachel not Leah birthed. Issac was the Chosen son for Abram turned Abraham, whose mother was Sarai turned Sarah. 

Ishmael, who’s mother was Haggai, was not chosen but still blessed by God, because God is faithful and sovereign when we grow impatient. God is a protector when we take matters into our own hands as humans. This is a perfect example of when human’s play god and step in, but then God has the final say, and shows out on how sovereign he is through Joseph’s testimony, and through Isaac being Chosen not Ishmael, when Ishmael came first. Leah was first over Rachel,  but none of Leah’s children were chosen. Joseph was Chosen and his mother was Rachel, the ordained choice of God’s. Just like Sarah was the ordained choice for Abraham. Only God ordains, not human’s playing god in pairings, get bless with Chosen. God chooses Chosen not humans.

the stake in his fake 

breaks and shakes him inside.

he doesn’t want to see

he followed ungodly energy.

he doesn’t want to see

that building 

he serves and preserves 

has no godly wings.

wrong marital coupling

is ungodly corrupting.

I just want to live my life your way, and not be apart of decay’s of yesterday’s or a Groundhog Day mutant routine like the scene, of that building with no godly wings. Daddy, you blessed me to leave. But if what you want me to receive yesterday’s prompting is of you Daddy then make it so loud, and clear I cannot ignore you, like you did with that meeting that forever changed me. Until then Jojo isn’t on board, and neither am I. So time will tell what’s going to happen in the next few weeks.

ungodly corrupting 

by wrong coupling 

like he and his she

is an invitation for satan.

God will never bless

what human’s 

coach to fine tune

by wrong weed

seeds to bleed

in broken need,

and prune two 

wrong hues to be

in misery by

the lies 

in the slums of

their fearful sins.

like he and his she.

love is patient.

he and his she

were rushed to matrimony

after four months 

of secret sexual dating.

as a woman, 

the body is a temple.

That’s why it’s so imperative for all of us to discern, wait and pray on top of mediating on the word: both Old Testament and New Testament. Yes we are the New Testament in modern day time, but Old Testament is a foundation to trusting the voice of God that every single child of God’s must learn to discern, and grow with you Daddy. I have no idea how you’ll unfold everything you keep telling, and showing me. But all I can do is wait, and keep praying. I’ll never move ahead of you Daddy. I am committed to walking through my dark to Light transformation. 

It’s hard to come face to face with cold harsh realities, especially if we as humans develop skills like running, or being kinetic in the sense of ‘on to the next.’ We cannot ‘on to the next’ our brokenness. Our brokenness are deeply rooted to bondages that will keep us hostage, if we don’t still ourselves to lean on the strength of Jesus. Only through God is there gain in pain to walk us through our pending breakthroughs. 

From the direction you sway my pendulum rhyming scribing writing, it appears that some of Your Chosen are walking through some tough truths, and that’s hard to do. I cannot speak for everyone or anyone else, but I thought I knew better than you Daddy. I thought I was good, and cured from what happened to me at nineteen. Our current president election showed me I wasn’t, and I completely lied to myself for fourteen years. I had to walk through that cold hard reality, and that was extremely hard for me. We all must face what is buried as deep rooted disgrace.

men can’t respect 

what a woman neglects.

women must have standards.

when a woman doesn’t 

a man won’t teach or reach her

if he doesn’t love her.

Sex before marriage is lust

and disrespectful.

he and this she 

were sexually being unmarried

publicly in sin city.

the building 

with no godly wings

stepped in to clean

this scene to appear godly.

the building 

with no godly wings 

was focused on their image

and the recent public 

support of backing

this man in a contest

that made him debt free.

Biblically God is the reason

but in that season 

he focused on tangibility.

which is a switch

from the precious gift

in the Obey of Today.

he picked her

after secretly 

and sexually tasting her.

Biblically love waits.

Tangibly tasting

is clouded temporary mating.

Thank God for my best friend. She was lead by you the night of the election on what to do. After I walked through that painful process after fourteen years from running from it. I was freed from the bondage that held me in a chokehold, where I felt like a hostage. I was completely faking and fooling myself that being a virgin, and then raped didn’t traumatize me completely. I thought acting like I was tough, or it was no big deal was the way to go. 

Thank you Daddy for also freeing me from the toxicity that was hanging over me, from my relationship with that African prince. That forever changed me as a human, where I made reckless decisions in my self-inflicted incisions after we broke up. I never allowed myself to walk through that trauma either. I hate trauma. I hate PTSD. I hate being flared easily. I just serial dated, and convinced myself that trying one night stands was not only the rave, but what I craved. After I left the African prince who was a wince, and cheap creeping lemonade. The African prince’s cheap thrills made me snuff out Your Gills, and I wasn’t still. 

I could only stomach doing two one night stands, but it’s not true even though I was emotionally scarred from that African prince, I still hated premarital sex. But I had a hard time accepting my core values, because no one believed in them like me. Everyone was about sex, and I have a broken ‘fake it until you make it’ mentality. I lay that down Lord. I see sex outside an ordained marriage as an ungodly wildfire sexual savage. There are couples married that shouldn’t be, because God didn’t put them together, biblically we see the testimony of Leah-Jacob-Rachel and how the father played god. Too many human’s played god instead of allowing God to be God. There will always be consequences in choosing multiple voices, over the choice in God’s still small voice. That cold hard lesson I learned at the building with no godly wings, my old church which hurt. But the hurt had worth, because I chose you God, not flesh wildfire facades.

Sex complicated 

everything.

Sex fast forward 

an engagement ring,

which now stings

in the two strands

ungodly quicksand.

he and his she 

are unhappy collectively.

he and his she 

are spiraling in the

radioactive tailspin

through their misguided

‘spiritual wise counsel.’

the counsel motive

was protecting image.

too many cooks are

in his martial kitchen.

an impure confess

will never be 

seen as Holy blessed.

he now sees

he cannot be 

coached or poached

to love his she

he married or 

to be biblically

three strands.

God cannot be forced

in an ungodly course

of a worldly martial facade

when he and his she 

were approached to play god

to be with the enemy

blinding and lying

as decaying wildfire.

Daddy all of this is insanity, but you keep telling me:

You will see.

Trust me.

Be still.

Walk through it.

Okay Daddy I’ll walk through it, and thank God I’m walking through this with Jojo so we will continue to grow, and go at your pace in this race. We will continue to take this moment-to-moment as maddening as that is to face. Your Way is far greater, because you are Our Protective Creator. I love you Lord. Your will is my command. And I’ll keep holding onto the promises you’ll never stop telling me. 

“For perhaps he therefore departed for a season, that thou shouldest receive him for ever; Not now as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved, specially to me, but how much more unto thee, both in the flesh, and in the Lord?”

‭‭Philemon‬ ‭1:15-16‬ ‭KJV‬‬

he wants us three

on the sixteenth.

he’s putting it 

in the atmosphere. 

being there 

for us three,

is a yesteryear 

reappear catastrophe.

this desire is wildfire,

and not aligning 

to God’s Timing.

I love you King.

Thank you for 

making my soul sing.

Love your daughter.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy

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