conqueror

Dearest Daddy,

Thank you Daddy for being an everyday God. Thank you God for being a twenty-four hours a day God. Daddy you’re not a sometimes God. God you don’t love us when you feel like it. God you don’t get excited when we’re doing well as Your Chosen, based on our cultural and societal habitual standards. Daddy you love us, because you are love. (1 John 4:8) 

There’s nothing we can do that will ever change that you love us Daddy. There’s nothing we don’t complete, or execute that can ever change that you love us Daddy. No one can love humans more than you do Daddy. We cannot even love ourselves more than you love us Daddy. You loved us so much, that you gave your only begotten son on the Cross of Calvary, so that whoever believes in him shall not perish. (John 3:16) 

Daddy you didn’t allow your perfect son to perish on a cross so we can be condemned by others or ourselves. The two most important commandments that you Daddy want us to focus on, is loving you and loving our neighbors as ourselves. (Mark 12:31) Daddy you teach us by reaching our heart of stone, and turning them into flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26) Daddy you teach us by reaching us to carry each other’s burdens. (Galatians 6:2) Daddy you teach us by reaching us to be slow to anger. (James 1:19) Daddy you teach us by reaching us to love purely. (1 Peter 1:22) Biblically is the only way in the Obey in Today, and to no longer be stronger in the rewind of time, or the decay’s of yesterday’s. 

It is impossible for us to know love without knowing God. We as humans can come up with a concoction of what love is, through our broken ideologies in the decision of leaning on our limited minds. But we will always miss the mark. We will always fall short. We need the Holy Spirit as the compass of truth guiding us. We must never lose our praise in the rain, and we must never lose our wonder by God’s wings and cover. 

The book of Daniel in chapter three is one of my favorite reminders of the foolishness of God. Daddy I push myself every time I meditate on this chapter, to have this level of faith. It’s so inspiring, and one of the best examples I could ever ask for. Daniel three got me through the decisions the he you say is for me made. Daniel three got me through the isolating difficulties that I experienced at my old church, which I’m so thankful you pulled me out of. I’ll never stop signing praises for that precious gift. Before Jojo* and I even decided to commit to your prompting of our old church, you showed me two visions, which you keep pressing on my heart is happening now. All I can do is pray for your children. And that’s what I continue to do. 

Daddy I’m convinced you only dragged Jojo and I to our old church, because of the ribcages we are called to be one flesh to one day. I realized in the past three years, you are an intentional God Daddy, you could have called Jojo, and I to any church to come to salvation. But you called us to that specific church I gave so much pushback on, because I knew you were going to wreck my life. I knew you were going to completely change my core to yearn and discern for more. I wasn’t interested in that level of a shake-up. My interest isn’t always aligned to your will Daddy. So I walked through, and grew in slums of my sins, that you turned into godly wins. Daddy what you called me to see, and biblically be set free in the pitfalls of my old church. You used my struggle in my rumbling tumbles by my wrestle to give my all. Thank you for being the Creator who is far greater by evolving me to be a conqueror. 

I would do everything all over again exactly the same, if it meant I would be the woman of God I am today. All my pain has gain, because I refused to sleepwalk in vain any longer. Sleepwalking in vain is a deranged wrong song throng that’s temporary confetti, which will never replace my disgrace space of empty. I’ve been there and done that. I still had to walk through the same dark nights I was avoiding, and I’m a better human because of them. I’m a woman of God that knows her worth, because I went through failed suicide attempts, feeding the lustful spirit by degrading my temple with premarital sex, my eating disorder, my rape, my depression, and my three mental breakdowns were dark nights that King Jesus sparked in the dark. 

King Jesus and His Light allowed my final bow from the world, and I can see with charity and clarity what’s not right inside of me. King Jesus is why I’m no longer blind. King Jesus is why I’m set free, and that I now walk my talk biblically. No human did that for me, only King Jesus. But you did use the he you say is for me to propel me into my purpose. I definitely see that, and comprehend this truth. I’m grateful to him whatever he decides to do [or not do] going forward. I’m grateful for his actions. His actions taught me to aggressively fight for truth, and biblical proof. 

He’s a complexity that I actually do not comprehend, and cannot press send to end him as pretend. He’s a conundrum that swings as my pendulum. He’s a pain in my veins that makes me feel insane in the arrange of my strange membrane. Supernaturally he’s charity and clarity, but there’s an audacity for me to actually be blind in rewind tangibly. My arrogant consistency is a hesitant stagnancy, because he’s not with me. Pridefully, I swallow my hallow follow, by my lies inside to misguide my rhymes and hide what I want to receive and believe: he doesn’t supernaturally love me, or I don’t supernaturally love him. My hissed diss is ejected poisonous kiss, and a grim slim trim that won’t dim. 

Supernatural is a payroll of salvation, and a daily sanctification in the declaration to the divinity of the holy trinity to be set free biblically. King Jesus paid the price for my strides in my dying strife. Supernatural is a patrol that only God controls. Supernatural is the path to correct godly math, and the call to being the conqueror of unavoidable pitfalls. As His Chosen God knew we were severely broken, which is why King Jesus had to die for God’s plan to be executed. Humanistically the ingrained sin within, through our self-fulfilling quicksand in the Garden of Eden was needed. King Jesus is the only reason to walk as a conqueror of all pending seasons. Jesus Christ is the only way in the Obey of Today. Jesus Christ is the answer by the Cross of Calvary. 

Our flesh must be ejected and neglected by lifting the Cross of Calvary everyday. King Jesus healed my mind from three mental breakdowns. And after my first breakdown, I was told I’d never hold down a job. I worked successfully in six different industries to date. After my second breakdown I was told I’d never graduate with my bachelors. I graduated with my international business degree holding down four jobs and taking 19-21 credits per quarter maintaining a 3.5 GPA. Humans cannot tell me what I can and cannot do, when King Jesus made a way before I even fully walked with him. Now I proudly lift the Cross in the Foolishness of God denying the flesh of Crysta. Only God not humans can tell us no. God never told me no so I kept growing and going. Crysta will never lead me to everlasting life. Crysta listening to human’s Above God will never lead me to greener pastures. Crysta denying her flesh, and lifting the Cross in the Foolishness of God sets me completely free. Lifting the Cross in the Foolishness of God shows me as I grow, that my pain is not in vain. I gain because I dwell in the Wings of God. I gain because I put the armor of God on everyday. (Ephesians 6:11) 

Thank you Daddy for showing me that only through your strength will we ever be biblically set free faithfully. (Philippians 4:13) Only through Christ not Crysta, can I learn and discern healthy from unhealthy. Only through Christ not Crysta, can I learn and discern being prepared for God’s best, and not settling like the rest. I walk in the Foolishness of God, so the company that walks to my left and right is limited. Thank God for Jojo. Thank God for my biblical heroes, because they are the examples that I look to for Christ-like strength like Esther, Hannah, Moses, Noah, and Ruth. There’s so many more trailblazing vessels, but these gems stand out so much for me, besides the other gems in my favorite book of Genesis. 

Thank you Daddy for going before me. Thank you Daddy for always making a way when there is no way. (Isaiah 43) And even though I cannot see how you’re moving I know you are moving in this current season of painful rain. I choose to cling to your praising, and trust you without borders. Your ways are not my ways, and your ways are higher than heaven, and all of earth. (Isaiah 55:8-9) This season of pain is not in vain. And all these sins will no longer have flesh facade deadly ‘wins.’ You’ll block everything that will not work according to your purpose. (Roman 8:28) So I fight with the might of Jesus Christ, and His Light to cling to your wings Daddy. I walk by faith and not sight, to believe you’ll make a way for me. (2 Corinthians 5:7) You made me to be your conqueror after all is said and done. 

Thank you King.

Love your daughter.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy 

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