Rehab

Where’s the light?

Where’s the break?

What she sees is expired and wired empty.

There’s the stake that breaks 

and shakes the she who is me constantly.

This lion’s den will never end.

When Amy Winehouse came on to the scenes I was so excited. I loved her song Rehab. My addictions weren’t tied to drugs or alcohol. I was addicted to holding onto pain with no gain. I was addicted to my hurts having no worth, because letting go meant my hurt didn’t get justified in my lie that I needed to isolate to protect myself. I was addicted to harming myself through my failed suicide attempts. I was addicted to the brokenness of sex thinking its how to be loved and not forgotten. Sex made me feel rotten because premarital sex always bothered me. I grew up in a society that okay’s that disobey. I was addicted to harming myself through my eating disorder, and condemning myself as this horrible homosapien that has no business being alive, because Immanuel was an idiot to die for the likes of me. My rehab looked differently than the surface of those words, but the cuts were the same knee deep toxicities that affected me.

The celebration in the flesh god liberation, 

is a dedication to the divided flag of America. 

The pause of His Cause: better together 

is not the hissed dissed poisonous kiss in

the slums of sinning not winning tailspinning 

vulgarities of barbaric popularity realities. 

This empty confetti is actually an audacity 

self made cheap creep lemonade, and 

societal habitual rituals ignoring His Renegade.

As I scribe these lines that I want to stay inside, I realize that night when my mother and I had that rainstorm fight, the Light of Jesus Christ was truly the bright to my darken strife lies. In two thousand nine I did have my first encounter with Immanuel God with us. I had to convince myself that it wasn’t true, because I knew I had no clue on how to do this walk correctly. I also knew that if I acknowledged that Immanuel and I came face to face that stormy night of two thousand nine, then that means how I was walking from that moment until the twelve month of the twenty seventh day of two thousand thirteen was backsliding.

I had severe perfectionism and I refused to be a backslider, so I acted like Immanuel didn’t supernaturally take over the car that safely drove my mother and I to my sister’s house. To me if I acted like that didn’t happen then I’m not saved. And if I’m not saved then I can’t backslide. And if I can’t backslide then I stay perfect. All deluded conclusions that my King who makes my soul sing healed through my hidden stings. God corrected my heart through my circumstances. God was trying to get me to see he was with me mind, body, and soul after that night in two thousand nine. My supernatural gifts came back, and I haven’t seen them since I was a child. That still didn’t convince me, so all supernatural moments after two thousand nine were coincidences. However, there was something about the late great Amy Winehouse and her song Rehab that I couldn’t shake as a concidence.

She has to fight the strife of losing her appetite.

She has to cling to the wings of her King 

and not rewind time in the mind of her stings.

She feels the peels of reels, and sees the 

lack and setbacks of her fiscal attacks.

She feels alone walking with drone clones.

This purpose is wordless in a High Purchase

of a life that walked the talk of strife in the 

Light of Jesus Christ who sparks dark to right.

The self pity solo committee that no one sees.

The invincible principle of whimsical tranquility

is not the biblical blueprint to fine tune godly.

Every time I listened to that song I felt the pain that was felt when scribing those words. I didn’t know how to pray correctly (or so I thought,) I would always say God soothe her soul or something. I can’t recall the exact words. I never paid attention to the fact I love praying. I love praying for people. I love lifting people to the Kingdom so they’re covered in God’s Wings. And my love for Jesus kept growing, and I was upset because I didn’t know how to do this walk right until I meet Jojo* and I saw the Light of Jesus Christ so brightly amongst her that it made me a believer I can do this too. Then my life completely changed after we meet for the better. I haven’t looked back, and I won’t. Crysta is dead and God is making me a newer, and better creation every time he blesses me to breathe with ease into my nostrils.

She can’t sleep because she’s not next to him.

She would feel safe in the purity of his security.

She’s miserable without him, and feels grim.

She’s slim and trim. She fights in His Light

that sparks the dark to what’s not right inside.

Nothing is the same, she’s walking through the

ungodly hues of shame and broken lames

no longer stronger in tamed ashamed.

She prays in Obey of Today but needs

the weeds that separated them to end pretend.

She needs her beautiful he to be her key to flee

from all toxicities and ungodly mockeries.

She wants to be godly with her he lovingly

to be the Bonnie to his Clyde and his do or die.

Christ revived so she and her he can be free

to do life godly on the path to Kingdom Math:

he + He + her equals God’s Stir and Craft.

Adam and Eve is what God achieved.

Jacob and Rachel were equals and Leah’s

father couldn’t stop that ordained sequence.

Sarai and Abram’s fears through Hagar 

the concubine couldn’t stop Issac’s inheritance.

Sarai became Sarah the mother of faith.

Hagar became Haggai; remained a concubine.

greeneye demise and her lies through legality 

couldn’t change her arranged destiny: ungodly.

God isn’t in the empty disaster of her savage

two strand deceitful marriage by the mutiny 

community of no unity. Being a forced missus

doesn’t change her consistent dissed winces.

greeneye demise and her lies is still invincible 

through her misleading principles she bought 

with her soul and caught the hard truth 

biblically is the key to being set free & see Holy.

I’ll always choose to lose the world boldly not coldly for all humanity to see biblically and faithfully. I’ll always say yes to God’s Way and not my own understanding, because it’s the land of quicksand. I’m called to conquer my pitfalls, and to float of the boat like Peter the fisherman turned reacher and preacher. There’s so many examples in my blueprint: The Holy Bible, that I spent these past three years fighting in the Light of Christ to walk as. God is the reason I’m alive today. He’s supernaturally blocked death to perish for me more times than I can comprehend or recognize. My life belongs to my King, because he holds my ready rings for the he I’ll always believe is for me. God makes all things new like me and you

Her he is for me who’s the she God receives 

biblically and faithfully with time revealing 

what was once concealing preventing healing.

Her he is being set free as she scribes & speaks.

greeneye demise and her lies got nothing 

that her mind tried to define and hide.

greeneye demise is a missus treated as an 

afterthought regurgitated meal concubine.

Time was supposed to reverse this fate.

greeneye demise and her lies convinced herself

time was her friend to get her forced mister 

to be ungodly in misery with the enemy blindly.

Time is godly not ungodly. Time showed Jacob 

Rachel is all he wanted regardless if he was 

tricked to be with Leah. God decides who we

ride or die in life with, humans cannot decide. 

God corrects the heart not His Promises. 

The false prophet that was behind the lie

of greeneye demise and her crimes in this 

savage marriage was used for God’s Purpose.

satan’s attempts always fail from temporary 

and secondary prevail. The pale scales fall

because as His Chosen we are called to rise

with godly eyes to be revived and survive 

the likes of false prophets and greeneye lies

like the he God says is for she who is me.

Beautiful eyeballs that read these scribed lines, trust the process that God has the best regardless how it feels or looks. God is so worth it. I’m a living testament of this beautiful truth. God healed me from all the addictive weeds that made me internally bleed with broken need. God is the only one that walked me through my supernatural rehab from all that made me sad and mad through the ungodly hues, in the societal and cultural habitual rituals I grew up practicing robotically and chaotically. God had to heal me from all toxicities of my family to break the generational curses His Way not my way. God is the only one, through all the vessels he’s used, like Jojo, her ribcage, and my ribcage that can heal what’s deeply concealed. Praise God all mirages and self sabotage facades are drones that no longer makes me a clone that feels alone. God is my key that will always lead me biblically to be set free faithfully for all humanity to see in unity. My tests are His Testimonial Tributes through my fine tuning pruning process in this wilderness that’s a well hidden blessing bliss. Thank you for healing my addictions through Your Supernatural Rehab. All is well within my soul. 

Thank you King Jesus.

Faith moves mountains.

Gratitude is the greatest attitude.

I love you King.

Love your daughter. 

*names changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy

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