I don’t understand you God.
I guess I’m not meant to.
You do the most with pruning & truth.
It’s not like I’m not fighting to rise.
Every time I hit a benchmark
you throw me curveball God.
It’s starting to feel like
a reel of twisted jokes that provokes.
Anger is an evoking chokehold.
I thought I conquered madder through anger.
Testing me financially isn’t a new to feed.
These five weeks I’ve learned to increase speeches.
I’m no longer in a throng of wrong or leeches.
I see I can rise above from areas unheard of.
But then you threw me in a lion’s den
with this stupid charger breaking again.
Of course I snapped which feels like a setback.
But then I took a deep breath,
closed my eyes, and fixed my why
on the Light of Christ & choose to fight.
I started maneuvering the wiring and prayed.
I waited until you answered me to obey.
You said this is about my patience in stillness.
Okay so how do I grow to know in this area?
I’m tired of resulting in reacting, because
it’s distracting. This hiss pauses Your Cause.
I’m called to conquer my pitfalls, but this is hard.
It’s hard smiling when I don’t know what’s next.
It’s hard walking not by sight by being in the Light.
It’s hard to choose love when no one wants Above.
It’s hard to choose love when rejecting
is the rave humans crave in misbehave.
It’s hard being unpopular around drone clones.
I feel so alone in the biblical zone,
but I’m tired of reacting it’s distracting.
So show me what to do God I want only You.
It’s about your way God so no more delays
in me feeding slums of sins that are tailspins.
Like being madder through anger. I’ll never win.
Show me how to stop reacting it’s distracting.
Show me how to conquer this pitfall.
Show me how to finally give my all.
Show me how to be better with those around.
Show me how to drown out ungodly sounds.
Show me how to make You my Loud Cloud.
Show me how to tune out what’s not of You.
Show me how to finally see anger is behind me.
Show me how to not feed provoking toxicity.
Show me how to be still to grab Your Gills,
and choose to lose boldly not coldly patiently.
Show me how to not feed other’s chaotic weeds.
It’s a live feed I don’t need, believe, or receive.
Show me how to biblically flee from this scenery.
Show me how to be who You called me to be.
I only want what You have for me in it’s entirety.
I choose to be free faithfully and biblically.
Love your daughter.