overwhelmed

when I don’t know what to do

I always turn to You for my walkthrough God.

You are the only hue that’s true breakthroughs.

she who is me decided to be set free biblically.

she who is me and I, laid down all lies & pride.

when she’s overwhelmed,

she binge eats or drifts to sleep.

she had no food & Jojo* was used

to break the chain of her ruse

as Jojo refused for her to be weak in sleep.

she’s cheap and doesn’t want to leap.

she’s the her in God’s Stir:

he + He + her is going to occur.

she don’t know what to say 

to what God keeps displaying 

in His Supernatural Timing Way.

she’s not okay with this arrange,

because it’s tangibly strange & 

looks so insane to her overwhelmed brain.

God is saying the impossible is sea parted.

she created an expectation 

to reject that promised biblical dedication.

when she scribed 

the painful lines in Unpopular

this vision was no longer spectacular.

It’s easier for her to believe 

and receive they’re not to be supernaturally.

But God is saying only He holds this key.

& the he God says is for me in His Stir,

is awakened, transformed & reborn. 

according to God who’s loud in this ground.

she doesn’t know how to grow with this flow.

she thought he didn’t want three strands ever.

she thought he’d always want that quicksand,

that’s full of lies that makes that stake of fake 

suffocate biblical truth, and walk drunken aloof.

Unpopular was a mental switch of no use,

all she saw and felt made her heart melt.

the he God says is for she who is me 

intentionally sleepwalked for so long 

in the slums of his sinning tailspins, 

with the woman he flees in misery of

that two strand marital quicksand delivery.

he thought he had all the answers in his plans.

she’s foolish to rise above in love 

when his love was his ways and displays.

God is loud in sounds of this promise ground. 

he said to me: eleventh month/twenty-thirteen.

she doesn’t believe or receive that dream.

that dream became a nightmare, because 

he was always aware of the she he’s meant 

to be in the land of Kingdom Math: 3 Strands. 

so why does this have to be after the woman

he decided to flee in misery with?

because he sees it isn’t worth the hurt & dirt.

she feels like a default of looking back salt.

she kept going and fighting for growing.

she was determined to be unsalted:

and walk the talk as salt of the Earth.

she was determined to have her pain 

of his selfishness be a deliverance gain

& platform for daughters to never settle 

and swallow a hallow foul 

in the sexual bow & allow disrespectful 

by neglectful treatment like the woman 

who was desperate to be in this man’s 

space, even if treatment was in a disgrace 

of the lane of shame disdain quicksand.

this woman didn’t focus on the foundation 

that’s now creating so much pain in vain.

at the time in this woman’s mind: his contest

was the only way for this man to be okay 

with this woman in his space. this woman’s 

mission was an aggressive decision to be his.

two years later, the woman isn’t walking the

talking of the self-created incision envisioned.

he doesn’t celebrate this woman organically.

he didn’t support this woman’s family charity.

he didn’t display the intentionally in the way

this woman wanted. this woman is forgotten.

the legality of this two strand irregularity,

doesn’t change this is a strange barbarity.

this woman has the title of missus, yet the 

display from this man is brother to little sister.

this man never switched to husband.

this man doesn’t see this woman as his wife.

there’s a loud dark cloud over this marital land.

only God has the solution to this dilution.

she doesn’t want to hear about this lair.

she’s over there and away from this decay.

she’s overwhelmed by this supernatural realm.

God is the loudest when she’s drowning

out this supernatural connection in reflection. 

for her protection, she sets to be aggressive in 

the shielding of God’s Business for deliverance.

she’s overwhelmed her dreams are currently 

coming to past when she dismissed them.

she was fooled by the woman’s tangible tools.

she’s over this storyline of drunken foolishness. 

she’s over her focused scribing rhymes.

she wants a new assignment in lyrical times.

she wants a new focus from this ungodly locus.

she’s okay with singleness as her display.

she sees it’s safe and she won’t get hurt again.

she doesn’t want a repeat of that retreat in defeat.

she can’t afford to be hurt by this man’s dirt.

there’s no worth in slums of sinning tailspins.

he doesn’t want to be what he’s called to be,

according to she who is me obediently. 

Unpopular isn’t for everyone. 

Purpose isn’t for everyone.

Deliverance isn’t for everyone.

Three strands isn’t for everyone.

Obedience isn’t for everyone.

The road less traveled isn’t for everyone.

so she received his message, because

actions are louder than words that occurred. 

she’s overwhelmed by God’s Stir equaling 

he + He + her: His Promise coming to pass.

God saying he’s changed is overwhelming.

God saying he’s coming is overwhelming.

she’s fighting to stay afloat after losing 

the world’s perspective of everything.

she’s staying in the layers of prayers 

about being unemployed and in a shelter.

she’s staying hopeful about these interviews.

she’s excited about completion of these classes.

so this God stuff about this man isn’t good timing.

she doesn’t like this describing. 

It doesn’t fit her stir, but God’s Stir equals

he + He + her, which is the Kingdom Math.

she thought she wanted this two years ago.

walking through all her hidden pains, she

sees she wasn’t biblically ready for this man.

God answered her prayers of breaking chains, 

generational curses & securing her purity. 

she sees she’s free from generational toxicities:

alcoholism 

incest

divorce 

suicide 

bankruptcy 

abusive relationships

young death

drug addiction/overdosing 

living out parent’s destinies instead of God’s

self-harm

depression 

marital affairs 

children out of wedlock 

fornication 

& premarital sex.

she couldn’t bring any of this to Olive & April or 

Samuel & JJ her twins God showed her or 

any of her other children God will bless her with.

she couldn’t be that selfish to bleed in weeds.

she has a genealogy to protect & be set free.

so when God is showing her this man is the key

she doesn’t know how to receive and believe.

she’s overwhelmed but she’s open to being free.

God will show her this biblical possibility,

because she’s ready to take this leap faithfully

to finally achieve His Stir: he + He + her.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #TeamProPrivacy 

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