peace

Dear Holy Trinity,

I took this picture yesterday, technically I took the pictures roughly six hours ago. I had to do some quick humanistic thinking. I wanted this picture so badly, but I had to remember my life and safety is equally as important. Cars won’t stop and say, “Oh Crysta is capturing a moment, let me focus on keeping her from being road kill.” Wouldn’t that be great if that were my world? If only….😝

Don’t worry. I’m not that delusional anymore.

My everything: King Jesus also known as Emmanuel God with us constantly checks me, through the Holy Spirit that dwells in me. I was once blind, but now I see faithfully. I walk in biblical intentionality to dwell under the safe wings of the Holy Trinity supernaturally and unapologetically. Jesus is my dude, and the only man I completely trust that will never steer me wrong.

If Jesus tells me to jump I’ll do it.

Jesus tells me to go left I’ll do it.

Whatever Jesus tells me to do, I’ll do.

Jesus blessed me with light in my dark.

Jesus blessed me with life after death.

Jesus taught me to let go of what I know.

Jesus taught me to embrace grace.

Jesus taught me to face my shame.

Jesus taught me the security of protecting my purity intuitively.

Jesus taught me to see unapologetically supernaturally.

Jesus taught me to reject my carnal flesh.

Flesh is a distressing mess of oppression.

Jesus taught me to be loud and proud

in my choice in only listening to God’s Voice.

Jesus taught me how to be bold not cold.

Jesus taught me unity is for all humanity.

Jesus taught me that layers

of prayers removes my gears of fears.

Jesus taught me mediation in the Bible

is reflective dedication and supernatural liberation.

Jesus taught me my worth doesn’t hurt.

Jesus taught me my pain has godly gain.

Jesus rescued me from the slums

of my sinning tailspins

where I was sleepwalking in quicksand.

Jesus is my fresh oil.

Jesus is my Light to fight.

Jesus makes everything more than alright.

Jesus is my compass home under His Dome.

Jesus is my peace where I breathe in ease.

Jesus taught me what it means to be healthy.

Jesus has been my focus for the last three years, two months, and seven days since I’ve rededicated my life to the Light of Christ. I don’t trust people easily. There’s a lot I don’t say, and didn’t say at my old church because I didn’t trust people like that. Yes, I do have high discernment, but it was far deeper than that. It has more to do with my other supernatural gifts. I’m not sure if I will ever trust people easily in the future. I’m okay with that, but I’m open to the wreckage of Jesus over my life. Jesus gives me grace in my barbwire walls of protection for days. Jesus taught me through Jojo* my bestie that the right people will stick around. Jesus taught me that the wrong people will be removed, because they’re thankfully gone. Jesus is the reason I breathe with ease unapologetically in his peace that surpasses all understanding. (Philippians 4:7) What keeps being shown to me through my gift of writing is that I’m artsy, and I love to play with colors. I want to do so much. There’s an unquenchable thirst that won’t stop growing when it comes to my artsy love. I’m limited through my current season, which is annoying, but it’s maturing me so it can’t be that bad. Plus, Jesus is teaching me this patient word I’m not very fond of, because that word is so loaded. Humans, including myself abuse it. Abuse makes me see red. Seeing red isn’t being in love, so I go to my oxygen and my blueprint: The Holy Bible. Over the last three years, I’ve been intentional on going to the Bible when I throw a tantrum. One, I’m thirty-four, and two I’m not as young as I used to be. My energy is sacred, and my energy should be delegated with using wisdom. A hissy fit isn’t using wisdom. I’m trying. All I can do is try in my peace that surpasses all understanding. I don’t get this amazing space, but I’m not supposed to, because Jesus’ peace is supernatural.

Love is supernatural.

Unity is supernatural.

All good things are supernatural.

I continue to let go of all that I know, and free fall in the unknown. I have no idea what’s next, for a control freak like me that’s unheard of. Guess what? I’m not who I used to be. Jesus is changing me daily. It’s so excane. That’s exciting and insane at the same time. I like creating–especially words. I like being in a bubble in my head. In fact, yesterday afternoon I was in my coloring bubble and babies kept coming near me. Adorable and beautiful babies just kept coming to see what I was doing. I told Jojo, and she said “they picked up my peace, and they know I’m safe.” Amen. I’ll receive that.

That experience also reminds me about two weeks ago, Jojo and I were sitting quietly coloring our bible journals, and this lady asked us both, “Are you always this peaceful?” I think you’re trying to tell me that I’m walking your example of supernatural peace God. Okay, I accept even though I know I’m a hot mess. I pay attention to your signs God. I love babies. I love nice people. I love honest people. I love people who walk in their purpose, not in blinding popularity of carnal flesh. All other areas I want to run and flee from. All other areas are hurtful and scary. That’s why I think it’s safest being in the bubbles of my head. People can be scary, and they can hurt you. But Jesus pops my bubbles everyday, and I’m like, “oh okay, guess we have to do that again today too.” I treat my bubbles popping as a new experience that I have no clue will happen. I do not like my bubbles popping. I don’t always agree with Jesus, but I will always obey. Jojo laughs at me all the time, and says I’m an exhibit she wants to study. She needs to look in the mirror. She’s no different.

That saying is so true, “show me your friends, and I’ll show you who you are.” My circle is very small. My circle has Jojo and a few other gems, it’s just the way I like it. I’d like it to stay like that, but I don’t run my life: Jesus does, so we shall see what Jesus has next for me. Hopefully, Jesus will open this job door so I can do all the things I want to do. I have so many plans that I lay down at the throne for you God. I trust you with everything God. Your Way or no way. Checkmate. Life’s so excane, and it’s so great. Happy reading beautiful eyeballs. Love Crysta.

Thank you God.

Thank you King Jesus.

Thank you Holy Ghost.

Love your daughter, fighter, and lighter.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #teamproprivacy

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