Okay what do I say?
Speak to Me
God usually wakes me up at 3 am everyday. For the longest I had no concept as to why, until about two weeks ago, when I got sharpened by a vessel when God entered her, and said “You’re a watchman.” I had no idea I was a prayer warrior watchman until recently. I’m not very good at discipline. In fact, I immaturely see it as slavery for the most part. I’m very bratty about what God asks me to do a lot of the times. I can’t stand rising above in love to really petty and mean souls, especially souls that hurt my heart in the past. I’d much rather feed my flesh and smash teeth in. But then my bestie Jojo* sharpened me yesterday and asked me, “does doing that make you a better human?” No it doesn’t. It makes me mean and petty too. And only love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8) And only fearless love casts out everything blocking the purpose of one body: the reason for the Cross of Calvary. (1 John 4:18) I choose to obey and let everything go.
mean souls hurt her heart
means souls make the stake of fake shake afar
mean souls feed aloof to dismantle His Proof
mean souls fight for strife in dark without His Spark
mean souls mix drinks that stink and wickedly wink
mean souls confine to the divided minds
mean souls grow old and cold to never unfold
mean souls are harden and feel forgotten
mean souls cry out for help by chaotic yelling
Emmanuel God with us died to Light mean souls
it’s time to pick up the Cross and be pierce
just like our King of kings and Lord of lords
for prophecy to unfold and God to Behold
The Holy Trinity is key to being set free in unity
we are all called to conquer pitfalls as one body
I had a dream just now, after I finished doing one of my youversion bible app plans: A Supernaturally Natural Life. I was balling like a baby with total joy when I was reading it, because God showed me my younger self praying for the world to be a family. God has been showing me my younger self, and making me remember my prayers, because God kept them and heard them. God is showing me he’s answering them. It took me today to finally understand, God answers our prayers made for his kingdom: his way and his timing. I had no concept of prophecy being fulfilled tying into this truth. I had no concept of a lot of things. I know nothing but the blood of Jesus set me free by the Cross of Calvary. I’m someone that needs to be scaffolded badly, otherwise I’ll pass out and shut down. God clearly understood this about me, which is why he scaffolded my life. (Lol) I’m so thankful that God is such a genius.
Pierce the souls that feeding weeds bleed
Pierce the souls that breathing toxicity
is a broken dream of live feeds chaotically
Pierce the souls that rewinding time blinds
Pierce the souls who have clouded minds
Pierce the souls that live in the land of quicksand
Pierce the souls that sink in thinking
Pierce the souls that feed impatience
which is a switch in the sorrow of no tomorrow
Pierce the souls that lean on their own understanding
Pierce the souls that flew from being one body
Pierce the souls to see being free is human unity
Pierce the souls to be aggressive and protective
to understand we must run our own race
Pierce the souls to see glory to glory
Pierce the souls to know we are Your Story
Pierce the souls to own grace to grace
Pierce the souls that need to see
the fruitfulness in the Cross of Calvary
In the dream, I saw my father talking to my mother and they looked sad. I walked over and asked my father “what’s wrong?” My father didn’t respond, he cried instead. Then I went to my mother, and told my mother that my father loves her more than she’ll ever understand. She looked through me like I wasn’t there, and was distant and aloof. Then it switched to my father saying “we have to leave here in four hours, because we got kicked out.” So I went into panic mode and said “okay, I have to shower so wait for me.” He didn’t see me or hear me, but he looked in my direction. I thought that was so weird, but I didn’t pay much attention to it.
When I was in the shower, I realized that I have a different set up then my parents. That truth pierced me like a ton of bricks, and I said to myself “what my parents experienced has nothing to do with me. I’m free.” Then I woke up. I realized I let my family go. What they have to walk through is between them and God. Just like what I have to walk through is between me and God. We are all God’s children. God has no grandchildren. Salvation isn’t transferred it’s an encounter with the Holy Trinity that changes us from the inside and out for the rest of our lives. That’s what God means by glory to glory. That’s what God means that we are His Story. God loves us more than we will ever be able to conceptualize.
When I meditate in the word, whether it’s me doing a plan on the Bible app, or God leading me in my physical bible, I truly fight to be in his presence. When I let go of thinking crying equals a straight jacket and hospital visit, I became free to emotionally feel. I’m a cryer but I was fearful of my tears being used against me, or land me in a mental institution. So I stopped crying, which really harmed me. I realized my life had a lot of trauma in the past, and that developed my post traumatic stress disorder. But the glory of God and his faithfulness has been healing me, and freeing me aggressively since January 31st 2016.
I can honestly say that everything I’ve experienced thus far has been a complete blessing. All my pain had the supernatural gain of freedom in Jesus Christ unapologetically. I’m proud to stand tall as an ambassador of Jesus Christ. I’m proud to be running the race I’m called to run. I’m proud to allow the Holy Trinity to completely control the air I breathe effortlessly. I’m proud that I own my name not my sins. I’m proud to be pierced by the Cross of Calvary, because I believe we are multiple parts as one body. I see what Jesus sees. One day, everyone will too. Love your sister Crysta.