Relinquish 


they relinquish instinctive. 

it’s self-protection reflection.

Only God dismantles 

the scandals of facades.

where we is replaced with me.

me is fleeing in scales that fail, and

blinding in lying misguided pride magnified.

this is a space of disgrace, 

and a disenchanted lullaby that needs to die.

to be better together in we

they had to see me as the toxicity

it will always be in stagnancy chaotically.

the Cross of Calvary 

sets all souls free that believe.

souls have to boldly not coldly 

flee from the enemy unapologetically.

My life and bestie’s life forever changed on Saturday. I’m so thankful that Jojo* my bestie ignored my fears and pushed us to go to all pop-up shops she signed us up for. We went to three impactful events, however being in a confetti filled selfie booth with my bestie—the first God-fearing sister I ever had, who’s forever for me was my highlight. Jojo has been by my side through thick and thin, and in this to win this walk with me. Jojo is the reason why I relinquish my right to question doing this walk God’s Way. Seeing how God walks and covers Jojo over the years was one of the greatest blessings in my life. Jojo’s fight for obedient alignment is why I said: okay God I can do this for real too. Jojo hasn’t stopped being who she is at her core: a lover of Jesus and representing who he really is. Even in the brokenness we both walked through from scars on top of scars, Jojo has remained consistent. I’m thankful for Jojo. And I’m thankful for my other gems. They know who they are and God is a genius I’ll always say yes to. Relinquishing my ignorance was the greatest deliverance I ever been blessed to walk through.

their hearts are for His house.

they desire to bridge the blueprint to Higher.

they say yes to clinging to His Cornerstone Best.

yesterday was the full circle needed to believe, 

and be set free from all past infirmaries.

the old triage was a mirage in sabotage.

but God uses all to conquer pitfalls.

she relinquishes known and being a drone.

Jojo relinquishes known and being a drone.

they were tired of cold phony lonely.

they were tired of drowning in ugly.

they were tired of dying in silent crying.

they were tired of magnifying lying.

they embraced the space of grace to grace.

forgiveness is in This Race.

forgiveness is the only pace.

they forgive and say yes to being a bridge.

they say yes to rising above and to forgive.

they understand me is quicksand.

they know to grow and glow 

is to go with God’s Episodes Flow.

they relinquish instinctive. 

it’s self-protection reflection.

Only God dismantles 

the scandals of facades.

where we is replaced with me.

me is fleeing in scales that fail, and

blinding in lying misguided pride magnified.

this is a space of disgrace, 

and a disenchanted lullaby that needs to die.

We transforms from me when set free to

receive that love is being better together. 

Humility is key for humanity to be in unity.

Relinquish is this story for God and His glory.

Love she. 

*names changed for privacy purposes. #teamproprivacy 

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Women 


There’s no need 

to feed the weeds of: petty, jealousy, 

or walk that blind rewind talk competitively.

That’s a barbaric toxicity of hypocrisy,

because the Cross of Calvary is unity 

in harmony for all humanity to be one body.

There’s one me and many other me’s

as our true identity of being biblically she’s.

Daddy, I realized this morning that I woke up with an overwhelming spirit of thankfulness. I’m thankful for everything that I experienced thus far. I’m thankful for the good, bad, and down right ugly. Through all my hues that were both false and true: I witnessed my deliverance by your amazing sovereignty that cured my anxiety. Daddy you allowed my fouls to adjust in trust from my wrong throngs of lust that made me combust. 

Women were formed 

to transform and be reborn.

Women were formed 

to remove the hues of conformity 

by the lying rituals of cultural habituals.

God called us women to trust 

we must be better together 

for all the world to see and be set free.

Yesterday was such a blessing. Thank you God for the beautiful women of God you have surrounding me. I see you’ve divinely designed my sisters to walk with me. I would have never clearly seen these women are of you God, if I never went through the painful former sisterhoods I went through in the past. I’m far from perfect and I did my wrongs, but you’ve set me free from condemnation and blinding guilt. I pray the same for all women on Earth, whether they walk with you currently or not. You forgave me God, therefore I forgive every single woman that ever hurt me: whether they know or not. I pray that these women cling to the Light of Jesus Christ to stand and fight. I truly believe that we will all achieve that humanity is called to be one body. Patience is the virtue to hold onto and key faithfully. 

In the beginning, women 

were created in Genesis.

The foundational book 

that supernaturally hooks us women.

This hook is designed to align 

us in forgiveness by salvation deliverance.

Eve misconceived what she 

thought she needed and believed.

For the longest, I was so angry at those that hurt me, and I realized the lie in that ineffective fight. Anger blinds me, and I cannot see. I understand on a deeper level what you mean Lord to be in love. Love is found bound from Above as your sacred dove. I choose to be in love. I choose to wear my helmet of salvation. I choose to put on my breastplate of faith and love. I choose to walk these biblical truths found in Ephesians 6. I love the Bible. I’m thankful for my blueprint that is used to prune, and fine tune me: your way Lord not my own. I love my newfound sisterhoods that came as needed blessings since December of 2016: my Asian sensation in Canada, Ali* and my two triple G’s: Cole* and Elle:* godly, geniuses, and gorgeous. Its so amazing I have two doctoral sisters. They make me cool. I think it’s so amazing I have a gluten-free chef as a sister. She makes me cool too. It’s a humbling honor that you’ve blessed me with unity and diversity. All I see is my beautiful sisters, and my God-divine family you God designed just for me. 

God knew what Eve would do 

in the sinking thinking quicksand 

walking in the Garden of Eden.

God had a plan that withstands 

the tailspins of spinning sinning 

to be delivered, and fight by the 

Light of Jesus Christ that sparks 

the dark of all that’s not right 

hiding inside by misguided pride.

Biblically wisdom is addressed 

as she’s and her’s as our blueprint.

God deliberately made women she’s 

and her’s to stir us into our pruning purpose.

Daddy, I’m so thankful I’m getting even closer to Jojo* who taught me how to own going with God’s Flow, and Ari* my southern belle dancer genius that inspires me everyday. I’m also thankful that you’ve reconnected me to my Bronx beauty social worker Sia* I can’t wait to continue to connect with her, who’s also a dancing genius. God you’ve surrounded me with such beautiful and talented women that ALL push me and inspire me everyday. I’m so overwhelmed by that precious answered prayer. They are all the gifts I never thought I’ll receive, but so thankful I did. I’m in awe by your wonderful miraculous majesty that it’s truly an honor to always obey your ways Lord. You’ve shown me that it’s worth it to always pick up the Cross of Calvary. Thank you God for trusting me, and setting me free effortlessly. I was once blind, but now I see. I will always choose to lose the world boldly not coldly for all the world to understand: Jesus is love and unity. Women are wisdom driven with multiple purposes. 

Love your daughter.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #teamproprivacy 

Running 


Jojo’s* ribcage deleted the faces

of the wrong bows that allowed 

the hallow swallows of no tomorrow.

Jojo’s ribcage staged a space 

to replace his assignments with 

the beauty of her face to stick to alignment.

Alabama was the hicks in his Vicks

he said yes to UP and to stop shutting down.

he picked up the Cross to not be lost.

he knows he only grows with Jojo in his show.

Behold, he’s waiting for the green light to reunite.

Thank you God for walking me through the freedom of not feeling guilty about my blessings. Thank you God for showing me and growing me in patience and deliverance from the space of disgrace. Thank you God for pushing me to be unapologetic, and guilt free about who is coming to me. Thank you Father God for glowing me in growing that I knew since a child flesh god facades are self harm mirages. Thank you Father God for viewing me through fine tuning and pruning me to be faithfully set free. 

Thank you Father God for leading me to beautiful souls that will always make me feel bold not cold and never grow old. Thank you Father God for my beautiful circle that’s unfolding, because you Lord Behold who’s walking with me here on Earth, and in the new Heaven of eternity. I love my bestie-ship with Jojo, she’s truly a godsend. We had another nasty fight last night, but God you used that for your glory to free me from running. I don’t want to run away from hardships that I’m called to walkthrough in my pending breakthroughs. Last night showed me I was running the wrong race. Church was everything yesterday, and I realized that my gift to run is for you God not me. 

I’m saying yes to reversing the curse of corroded racing. It’s the wrong pacing, and the wrong intention to pay attention in a hopeless direction. I was finally able to be open to your correction through the hue of your supernatural reflection, and finally allowed your protection last night. I rejected the plight fight of that suffocating strife. It’s a dark without the spark in the Light of Jesus Christ. Thank you God for the deliverance of my hindrance: running in the decay of my way. Break me to shake me in no longer being stronger in fake scenes called my corroded runnings dreams. My legs are called to move to your groove, so continue to glow me in the flow of growing in your kingdom show. Amen.

daughter O let go.

daughter C sees her ugly.

daughter T is finally set free.

these broken souls fed cold.

these broken souls grew old.

daughter O chose faith not fear.

daughter C is open to be aware.

daughter T is walking through the unhealthy

of her broken dreams that suffocated her badly.

these broken souls are open to 

the hue of your protective correction.

finally, they’ll bow of Your Allow.

they have no choice but to obey Your Voice.

the decay of their ways trapped them 

in the stress of their carnal flesh.

they finally see it’s chaotic and robotic

which is the switch from the gift of Today.

they no longer want to delay Your Obey.

Thank you God for using their hindrances 

for their deliberate destined deliverances.

No matter what they do, you God are a bigger hue.

I say yes to my growing sisterhoods with Cole* and Elle.* They’re amazing and lunch yesterday was everything. I’m also so thankful for my Asian sensation beauty queen in Canada, and my creative genius southern belle dancer from Atlanta. They’re such amazing women that I love very much. I’m so open to whoever else will come going forward. But what I’m really thankful for is how you removed all the imposters who were never for me, and only wanted what wasn’t good for me. I’m very thankful that you spent the last almost four months healing me from every post traumatic stressful trigger that felt bigger than the concept of healing. I thought I was entrapped forever. Thank you Father God for pulling me out of that unhealthy space of teaching in that broken charter school. I walk on faith you God have the residents and those beautiful kids. Thank you God for renewing my mind in grace upon grace. I finally have grace and patience for myself. I finally forgive myself and love myself. Thank you God for that precious gift.

Now I can effectively display in a healthy way what’s supernaturally okay to your beautiful creation. What a glorious space to be free completely in. Thank you God for growing me to own my name not my sins. Thank you God for being unapologetic in never feeding the weeds that make us bleed in the tailspins of sinning. We as humanity are a called community to be in unity. Togetherness is deliverance. The only chains with gains is linking together for the better. Carnal flesh is sinking in quicksand with no Kingdom Band. That’s the greatest self harm: the distress of carnal flesh. That’s the stress of oppression and the deselection of confession. Thank you Father God for taking my heart for Jesus, and setting me free intentionally. You are an intentional Lord Constant One. You Lord keep building me, and showing me my answered prayers are real: God fearing sisters are for keeps. 

Thank you God for being so patient with me to trust, and believe in my he who will always be for me: my beautiful bamboo who will always be true. Thank you God for showing me to own I’m the her in Your Stir: he + He + her, which will occur because you God concur. Thank you God for being the silencer in all the amateurs that didn’t succeed in their poisonous live feeds. All those broken souls grew old and cold. All those broken weeds only made each of them bleed in broken need, and you used their impurities to protect and free me faithfully. More importantly God, my beautiful bamboo is finally free too. I cared about his freedom more than mine. Thank you God for removing and dismantling all his character facades, which were self harm sabotages and mirages. My beautiful bamboo can finally be who he’s called to be effortlessly. My heart is so full for his freedom and beautiful revolution.

she’s not afraid to love him.

she’s not afraid to be all in.

she understands this quicksand 

was designed to align their path

in God’s Kingdom Math. 

he + He + her will always equal God’s Stir

which will occur because God concurs.

Behold, their story is unfolding.

they know, and glow with God’s Flow.

they allowed the final bow 

to reverse the curse of the wrong race.

they see it’s a decree of worldly toxicity.

they supernaturally surrender effortlessly.

they picked up the Cross of Calvary 

running the pace of God’s Race

in the space of grace to grace.

from glory to glory because they are His Story. 

they will always grow in being better together. 

Thank you God.

Thank you King Jesus.

Thank you Holy Spirit.

Love your

daughter,

fighter, 

lighter.

Holy Trinity is the key to being set free.

*names changed for privacy purposes. #teamproprivacy

Immobilized


she replays the days 

that had her crazed

in the rewinded minded maze.

hazed by the tears of her fears

she choked in her heartfelt provoking

emotions that kept her immobilized inside.

misguided by the layers in players 

from the fun in no sun building

that no longer has the godly wings.

she couldn’t be a secret or mistreated.

she couldn’t compete with the fan girl heat.

she retreated in the interruptions of her assumptions.

her misconception of deception is misrepresented 

by the tranquility of tangibility.

she’s tired of the realm she needs to dwell:

supernatural to her is a never occur blur

with no proof that makes her feel aloof.

she absorbed the brokenness of her surroundings 

as the staple of her labeled fables.

she’s renewing her mind to godly finds.

her parents are in their second quarter.

she’s in her first quarter: birth to thirty.

she’s been chasing the space of validation.

she thought a follow was the respected selected.

she’s been operating out of fear, because 

of the old building with no godly wings.

people around her didn’t want her to 

receive the achieving believing supernatural.

she surrenders her timeline.

she surrenders her blueprint.

she surrenders her expectations.

she lets go of what she knows.

she’s walking through the trauma 

of the submersion diversions of image.

she nitpicks herself and nitpicks others.

she replays the days 

that had her crazed

in the rewinded minded maze.

hazed by the tears of her fears

she choked in her heartfelt provoking

emotions that kept her immobilized inside.

misguided by the layers in players 

from the fun in no sun building

that no longer has the godly wings.

she couldn’t be a secret or mistreated.

she couldn’t compete with the fan girl heat.

she retreated in the interruptions of her assumptions.

she’s tired of those thinking she’s out of the league

of the space she was created to be in.

she believes her beauty faded but it’s untrue.

she became so fazed by the clouded sounds

of others lies that she’s their garbage deposal.

she knew that building with no godly wings

wanted sinning tailspins scattered stings.

she struggles from the deliverance in stillness.

she doesn’t want to be stronger in settling.

everything feels one-sided since the messages

in the Vicks of Birmingham lyrical bliss.

she allowed people to make her feed shame.

she prays away the pain that’s in vain.

she prays away the hurt with no worth.

she saw the true colors of others 

who she was supposed to be: fan girl.

she doesn’t need false friendships in her space.

she just wants worship and leave like the wind.

nobody sees her.

nobody knows her.

nobody tells her anything.

messages were received.

she casts out the projective brokenness of others.

others brokenness is for the Lord not her.

she chooses to see her new reflection 

of the woman of God she’s been created to be.

she replays the days 

that had her crazed

in the rewinded minded maze.

hazed by the tears of her fears

she choked in her heartfelt provoking

emotions that kept her immobilized inside.

misguided by the layers in players 

from the fun in no sun building

that no longer has the godly wings.

she couldn’t be a secret or mistreated.

she couldn’t compete with the fan girl heat.

she retreated in the interruptions of her assumptions.

it’s so hard for her to let go of what she knows.

she grew up in a household that was so cold.

her father is different and she doesn’t receive it.

it’s hard to believe she’s free from his toxicity.

her father was blessed with a clean bill of health.

she’s tired of hearing her ribcage is here.

she doesn’t see what she receives.

she feels no one understands she grew up

with healthcare Caribbean parents that said no

to her to socially grow and know her own flow.

people had the hardest time connecting with her differences.

because she spoke three languages.

because she took ESL to relearn English.

because she maturely understood not to 

pressure her parents for more.

she’s been fighting to fit in since she was born.

her best friend pushes her to be proud to stand out. 

she’s asking God for the push to stand out 

and face all the women and men she’s faced in the past.

she asks God to show her how to do this God’s Way.

she’s ready to let go of the unknown.

she’s tired of the satanic attacks that hold her back.

she’s praying for the accountability in maturity.

what is of God and what’s of the enemy? 

she yearns to learn how to discern 

from projections of others.

she replays the days 

that had her crazed

in the rewinded minded maze.

hazed by the tears of her fears

she choked in her heartfelt provoking

emotions that kept her immobilized inside.

misguided by the layers in players 

from the fun in no sun building

that no longer has the godly wings.

she couldn’t be a secret or mistreated.

she couldn’t compete with the fan girl heat.

she retreated in the interruptions of her assumptions.

she chooses to do this God’s Way 

and understand what that means.

she’s done repeating cycles.

reflection is her protection. Amen.

effortlessly


her anxiety has been higher 

than ever before lately, and it’s crazy.

last night she was in plight

because the heat didn’t mix with her beats.

so she soaked in cold water 

to not have a pending heat stroke.

the days are no longer cold.

she doesn’t feel old.

she’s proud and loud to be biblically bold.

her he that God says is for the she

who is me faithfully and biblically is coming.

she now tangibly believes

and receives this blessing supernaturally effortlessly.

I’m so thankful for the creation of Jojo* Constant One. We’ve been sisters since day one when we met six years ago: the third month of the year twenty-eleven. And that was almost two years since my storm with my mother that made me a believer. To this day I’m not sure why you allowed me to block out my salvation the way that you did Daddy. I’m thankful, because Jojo is very special and many were threatened by her amazing existence. I’m very protective of Jojo, and You stopped me from completely popping off on her behalf. I realized over the years, love is the only way to be better together today. And the one body with multiple parts humans were created to be, will only come to pass with love as the key. Accountability is the key to maturity, and Jojo executes this for me effortlessly. Besides, I needed me to chill out. I’m not very good at chilling out, although I gotten better over the years. Wisdom does mature over time (go figure!) Thank God.

Reflecting on what Jojo, and I experienced the last almost four years, truly becomes clearer to me that You Lord used the truth of my salvation to protect me. You showed me how to protect her with this concealed truth. Thank you for trusting me on such a humbling level. It truly leaves me in awe and wonder. I’ve never trusted you as much as I do in this present timeline. 

And as Your progeny, I completely submit to Your leadership. Your Way always my King of kings, and Lord of lords. Thank you for fully dismantling Crysta. And thank you for fully dismantling Jojo* she’s evolved to such a beautiful woman of God. We never been closer as sisters and besties to date. We’ve been through a lot, and every hurdle made us stronger in Christ, as Your lighters in this biblical talking by walking life. You’ve turned our nights of plights into extravagant praise in the rain for the rest of our days. It will always be well within our souls, because you taught us both to be bold not cold. 

humans and their delusions tried it

but their layers of sinful prayers were blocked

and their meddling and peddling came to a halt.

the enemy flees effortlessly because God 

is bigger than their slumming tailspin triggers.

God is bigger than the empty confetti.

God is bigger than the cheap thrills

that will never have His Gills: 

that will never allow the bow to be still.

that will never allow three strands 

in His Kingdom Band with the path

to His correct math: he + He + her.

this effortless bliss is God’s Stir

which will occur because God says so.

Everything that humans tried in their lies and strife was dismantled by Your Great Name. The blood of Jesus washes over both me and Jojo. We are completely protected. No one that doesn’t belong in our space will ever come around us. We both believe that wholeheartedly, and seen what you’ve shown us supernaturally come to pass as we speak and breathe with the ease that surpasses all understanding. 

You taught both Jojo and I to no longer be stronger in the throng of lies, because they made us die on the inside. You taught both Jojo and I to own our mess, so You can turn them into messages. You taught Jojo and I to walk through our breakdowns, and our tests so we can confess and walk the talk of our breakthrough testimonies, by no longer being phony and eject the subjecting distressing space of disgraceful oppression. We proudly deselect and neglect that unhealthy prospect. You’ve prepared us both for our ribcages, and we both say yes. I’m so excited for her. And she’s so excited for me. Obedience is truly the key to being set free. We don’t have any regrets, and we would both do this all over again. You are worth it Constant One. And so are our ribcages you’ve prepared us both for. 

so she effortlessly waits for her he

because he’s her Prince Charming biblically.

because God is making him her reality.

because God is parting the Red Sea.

because God created him only for me.

she who is me says yes to her beautiful bamboo.

she who is me sees these foundational roots are truth.

she who is me loves her he unapologetically.

she who is me allows love found bound from Above.

she who is me says yes and will never neglect this prospect.

she who is me is in awe of supernatural wonder.

Jojo is a go for her Vicks Alabama show.

Jojo supports UP and prays for nothing but godly luck.

Jojo waits for her genius thuggery freshness.

Jojo allows the love found bound from Above.

Jojo says yes and will never neglect this prospect.

Jojo is in awe of supernatural wonder.

We both say amen, finally, and yes Constant One.

Thank you King Jesus.

Thank you Holy Ghost.

Thank you Constant One.

Love your fighter, lighter, and daughter.

*names changed for privacy purposes.

#teamproprivacy 

Wisdom

there’s so many she’s

that believe in the bleed 

of their broken routines.

there’s so many she’s 

that are societal in their rituals.

there’s so many she’s 

that move in the groove of toxicity.

there’s so many she’s that live in misery.

there’s so many she’s 

that are culturally pacing 

in the wrong race lost

choking in smoke by the 

misguide of popularity lies.

popularity is a chain that God can break

if the stake of fame no longer shakes.

lies make she’s die as carnal jokes 

being led by the enemy who’s a bloke.

sleepwalking in misery fleeing in weeds

blindly behind pride that hides all ugly inside. 

there’s so many she’s 

forgetting the purpose of The Cross.

there’s so many she’s 

that want the mess of oppressed flesh.

there’s so many she’s 

that want to abuse the ruse 

& muse in corrupted confused.

there’s so many she’s 

that act like their she is better 

to condemn what’s their poisonous zen.

there’s so many she’s 

that are obsessively empty.

there’s so many she’s 

that aggressively want drunken confetti.

there’s so many she’s 

that wink in wrong thinking sinking,

tailspinning in distressing sinning.

this is a ditch with no switch.

this is a dark with no spark.

this is a night with no Light of Jesus Christ.

this is the wrong fight that’s ignited to divide.

this is the throng to be strong 

in the barbarity of irregularity chaotically.

chronically the enemy knows sin not names.

this is a lame of shame many ignore in vain.

the Holy Bible is revival and the blueprint 

to be fine tuned and sharpened in alertness.

the Holy Bible is walking the talk of pain

to always have wisdom and godly gain.

the Holy Bible is discernment and key 

to being set free biblically for all humanity.

“And the serpent said unto the woman, 

Ye shall not surely die: 

For God doth know that in the day 

ye eat thereof, then your eyes 

shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, 

knowing good and evil. And when the woman 

saw that the tree was good for food, 

and that it was pleasant to the eyes, 

and a tree to be desired to make one wise, 

she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, 

and gave also unto her husband with her; 

and he did eat.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭3:4-6‬ ‭KJV‬‬

the enemy knows sin, not names.

the enemy in Genesis three was very tricky.

the enemy never addressed Adam or Eve.

the enemy exposes all the ugly 

we don’t want to ever see or allow the bow

to flee and be set free faithfully in unity.

the enemy knows how to flip the script.

he did it to Adam and Eve and the weeds 

of sinning tailspins that never win succeeded.

Emmanuel God with us died to be revived

three days later, and reversed this curse.

there’s too many she’s 

that don’t know their own name.

Biblically wisdom is a she to be set free godly.

God knows our names not our sins.

There’s no more shame 

under His Great Name.

There’s no more sinning

in the purity of His Secure Winning.

There’s no more in vain pain

or stings under His Safe Wings.

There’s no more looking back glances

in fear of attacks & ruining second chances.

Women are she’s called to be set free

by conquering all pitfalls and rising to be salt.

We are called to be the salt of the earth

not look back in satanic attacks to get hurt

by becoming ashes to ashes 

or dust to dust. That’s dirt that hurts.

With God there’s no facades: 

just biblical worth.

She’s need to know their name.

She’s need to know their worth.

She’s need to know their biblical wisdom.

Know she’s are called to be set free.

Know to grow she’s must let go of known.

Know that biblically God thinks highly 

of His she’s that God will always lovingly carry

from glory to glory as His Created Story.

Love your sister Crysta and a she.

Sisterhood(s)

Dad,

All I ever wanted was healthy sisterhood(s) anchored in biblical truth through your Blueprinted Proof: The Holy Bible. Dad it’s hard rising above in love, because it’s found bound only when we decide to surrender, and be delivered from sinning. Sinning is not winning. Sinning will never be Your See or Your Winning. I feel used and abused, and I’m sick of the vicious broken toxic cycles. It’s hard being obedient when you’re the only human fighting to biblically be aligned without any flesh god designs. 

Why pull me out of that building where I once worshipped and served, but got curved from flesh god facades, and false prophets who make it hobbit in mutant scrutiny of a night community with no unity? It feels like nothing changed with this sisterhood you clearly won’t dissolve. I don’t want you to dissolve this sisterhood but I can’t keep doing this cycle in 2017. I’m not the same by your grace God so I can no longer be stronger in unhealthy. Thanks for the new building of worship, but sisterhood was far more important to me Dad; and you knew that, especially after you showed me what real love is, and not the brokenness I fed in painful weeds that made me internally bleed. I completely understood after 404(14,) that the he you give my key to, has to do this your way not his.

 

This is still very hard. It’s very hard having a best friend that is so fearful of healing. It’s painfully hard to see, because there’s a pause in Your Cause and no gain in this focused pain. She’s feeding a weed that makes her bleed in vain when that’s not the purpose of Your Revealing, but what she fights to have no light in sight doesn’t align with Your Might. The spirit of jealousy is heavy. I’m tired of that wrong spirit ruining so much in my life. It’s an ugly backwards hat that’s full of painful strife defiled lies. It’s very hard having a best friend that chooses to lose in a ruse of refuse. There’s a broken need that bleeds from a wrong seed weed. I never believed I would ever receive real sisterhood. Then you blessed me with my buried prayer I never vocalized, because it was going to stay inside until I died. Humans want to live a lie to bury cries and internally die, because the ego is a sinful hero, which is really a zero. And pride hides the lies swelling well inside. 

But then six or seven years ago? I meet Jojo* and I knew my life would never be the same. She sharpens me in a way that took me a long time to accept not neglect. And I sharpen her in a way she’s still learning to this day to be okay with. 404(14) isn’t just my day, it’s her day too. I rededicated my life to you God. I saw this walk can be done for real. And Jojo let it all go. We found you God together, and surrendered our lives as sisters, because we had each other. I saw I finally had a real God-fearing sisterhood, not a fake stake in break lukewarm storm masquerading in a decay of a ruse called sister. Jojo is a real iron sharpening sister. Then you blew my mind after that day, and blessed me with so many more God-fearing sisters that broke my weed to believe: I will never have godly sisterhoods that are biblical. 

But you meet me God, in my fearful tears from the hidden years of flesh god facades. You knew that was all a choke I evoked in my invisibility cloak. For the longest I believed I was the strongest in fading away from the decay of yesterday. Dad the world doesn’t want you your way. The world wants sinning to be the winning way without perishing in hell. That’s why there’s Lukewarm Christianity. A lot of humans want to sin in peace, not live for the Prince of Peace. That’s why it was so hard for me to do this walk. No one around me did it effectively. I felt so lost for five years and then Jojo made it clique for me somehow. Lukewarm Christianity will never be your everlasting eternity. Those five years were so hard to walk, and they felt impossible. It’s easier to not know you God then grieve the Holy Spirit like I did. That’s why I had to convince myself I wasn’t saved, but what’s in the dark comes to light no matter what. I lied but that community I was apart of at the time made me feel endangered to tell the truth. That community at the time made me feel like I had to lie. But so many choose to believe this sinful ruse, and defuse truth by ignoring your biblical proof. The flesh god facade solution is the broken token in the loud crowds to community, there’s no unity in deluded dilutions. 

There’s the wrong sensitivity to reject not protect His Holy Trinity and Divinity, with false prophecy preaching in leeching hypocrisy. And disguising lies swelling well inside buildings with no godly wings. That will always sting from the misguided map trap of wrong wedding rings. Two strands will never be His Three, and will always be a pause in His Cause to our True Destiny. 

I fight to obey your today, and I pray but all I see is a mockery in my sisterhood with Jojo* there’s a level of wrestle in both she, and I that only you can end God. I want to run because I knew from wrestling with you before 404(14) that your way is the gift of today. Our flesh is a silent profess, and hidden confession suggestion to trap us in a worldly map. A worldly map in the decay of yesterday. A worldly map of sorrow in no tomorrow. Absurd Obedience is lonely. Absurd Obedience is abused in a ruse of refuse, to your truth by rejecting not protecting Your Biblical Proof. 

I am tired of giving you my lonely.

I am tired of turning the other cheek.

I am tired of going lower to be weak.

I am tired of you leading me in the Bible to be meek. 

Humans are savages that want to feed a broken weed of the salesman law of averages. Humans want to snuff out Your Sun in sin, because it’s a flesh god facade win to wink, and sink in thinking drinking. Humans have no desire to be a worldly fighter, boldly not coldly to light what will never be sparked in the dark. Jojo battles wanting to press play, in the distress of the worldly competitive mess in the decay of yesterday. 

The decay of yesterday is a hiss in a poisonous kiss of case dismissed. The pause in Your Cause of today is not the way. Flesh is the Achilles heel that makes us peel, and feel because we are all human. My flesh pisses me off on a moment to moment basis, so I can’t be the only saint with this ongoing battle. That’s why God said to pay attention to his two commandments: love God and love your neighbors. 

The reality is we all need to be set free, but we can’t do that without being a community with godly unity. That’s the only way to be stronger and longer to combat the attacks of the decay in yesterday. We must be each other’s keepers. Where one human is weak the other is strong. We need to be each other’s keepers. Only together will we be better, and be able to stand in the world of quicksand. Sisterhood for women, and brotherhood for men is imperative to thrive not survive on this walk with God. Where I am weak my sisters are strong. And where I am strong, my sisters are weak. We must carry and cover each other’s blindsides, otherwise we’ll all silently, violently cry, and die on the inside. Lies eat us up until we speak up from the space that makes us a disgrace. 

We cannot be lukewarm about unity, that’s the only way we can be strong in protecting God’s Business with togetherness. Not everyone is strong enough to cancel out mans attacks to trust God above in love, to reject, and protect God’s voice over trusting the choice of human-confirmation catastrophes. Not everyone is called like Saul who turned to Paul, or Abram who turned to Abraham. Not every woman is a badass like Esther, or fiercely faithful and obedient like Ruth, or even Hannah the mother of Samuel. And that’s okay. However, being better in togetherness will make satan flee, because where two or more are gathered that’s where His Presence will be. Imagine if we came together as a human race? There’s nothing we couldn’t face. I battle believing that one day the decay in yesterday will end, like pressing play in the song of flesh god facade throng of pretend. 

All of this is a hiss that feels like a legalized lie of case dismissed.

All of this feels painful and draining me in vain.

All you keep telling me Daddy is: you will see…..

But all of this feels like a peel at the expense of me. 

What I choose to do Daddy is run to you, in stillness and give you my feelings; because if this walk was based on my feelings. What I see I would’ve never been the daughter you made me to be. Thank you God for creating a safe space to fearlessly express my emotional turmoil mess. Thank you for the gift to write and create. Thank you for trusting me with all that you do God. I love you so much, and I’ll never stop choosing you. God loves you more than you will ever understand world keep fighting, and keep choosing to cling to him. God will always be worth it. Nothing on earth will ever satisfy the way God does. Don’t take my word for it, take a leap to see. I love you too world, boldly not coldly because God taught me too. Love your sister Crysta.

Love you forever and ever Daddy,

Your daughter.

*names changed for privacy reasons. #TeamProPrivacy.